Bella

The old pass and make way for the new. Such is life. But there are links we all have to our past lives that live on with age… once the old fades, those links leave the realm of collective reality. There are links which we have to those we love. We connect people and animals and objects with love. When one goes, the link lives on in the other. When the other passes, it lives on with me.

The day before, I heard news of my friend’s dog passing away. My friend and I have fallen apart. It happens to the best of us. But when my sister gave me the news of his dog passing, I felt terribly sad. I remember her as a pup, and I had met her on the day he got her home. She formed a link with my fourth furkid, Zoe. Zoe passed away in 2013… and now Bella has passed away.

She was a bossy, dominating, brindle boxer. Much like her dad. Of course, he isn’t brindle, or a boxer. But he might as well be one. It irks me that I cannot pick up the phone and call him. It irks me that he let go of our friendship of over 20 years and did not see it fit to call me when Bella was sick. Human beings essentially suck. Me, included.

But I am just putting this out there, that life is cyclical. I have faced the loss of a furkid. I know it is devastating. I wish I could overcome my fear of rejection to pick up the phone and tell him how wonderful I thought Bella was. That she has been on my mind ever since I found out about her passing. She was a beautiful, obedient, wonderful doggo. With her goes another life that was linked to my Zoe, my aunts and a different life. She will be missed. And she will be remembered in love.

I am sorry for your loss, Bhav. And I am sorry I failed to call.

Live

Love makes you hope,
Hope makes you weak;
Love shows you dreams,
Hope lets you seek.

Life sends you warnings,
Hope takes away fear;
Folk show their colours,
Hope makes them unclear.

Life’s wounds fester lessons,
Love unlearns to forgive;
Tears gather over smiles,
Love teaches life to live.

Wherewithal

I write in contrived rhyme,
Of love found, and of love lost,
Through the years, what I achieved
And exactly what it truly cost.

Why do most get a careless sleep,
When dark thoughts harass me so?
Why do I ask these stupid questions,
When their answers I already know?

Giving of myself comes easy;
Though I am no stranger to my worth;
I ought to be less human to
Carry on life, no matter the hurt.

I am tired of this roller coaster,
I am tired of the bitterness and pain,
I’m even tired of the truthful smiles,
That I know will surely come again.

I know love alters, when it shouldn’t,
I know death hangs around to take us all,
Yet I know I’d do it all just the same,
For I know, I’ve, within, the wherewithal!