Meryl Streep

It is seldom that a speech made by a Hollywood Celebrity makes me sit up and applaud. The last time I did that was when Christopher Reeve gave a speech at the Oscars in 1996. I have liked Meryl Streep, I have never been an immense fan, tonight it was a pleasure to hear her speak after she received the Cecille B DeMille award for her contribution to cinema. And she surely has. Through the years, she has amassed a body of work that few actresses can boast of.

Over time, I have felt a strange apathy seeping into me. I have lost faith in humanity, more or less. The ideals that I grew up with, from the works of authors and poets and artists and visionaries and dreamers with much larger sensibilities than the world could hope to replicate, ingrained in me a sense of balance that I find shaken by the times we live in. The people I grew up with and have loved seem to have their moral compasses aligned opposed to mine and I find that it is difficult to be meaningful in a world that is now a strange dystopia.

I keep thinking of Yeats’ The Second Coming:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

I don’t want to quote the entire poem, it leaves me with an eerie feeling of premonition and I shudder. But tonight, I heard Streep’s speech and she spoke so beautifully that I just had to keep a transcript of it here. So without further ado, here it is:

Please sit down. Thank you. I love you all. You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve lost my voice in screaming and lamentation this weekend. And I have lost my mind sometime earlier this year, so I have to read.

Thank you, Hollywood Foreign Press. Just to pick up on what Hugh Laurie said: You and all of us in this room really belong to the most vilified segments in American society right now. Think about it: Hollywood, foreigners and the press.

But who are we, and what is Hollywood anyway? It’s just a bunch of people from other places. I was born and raised and educated in the public schools of New Jersey. Viola was born in a sharecropper’s cabin in South Carolina, came up in Central Falls, Rhode Island; Sarah Paulson was born in Florida, raised by a single mom in Brooklyn. Sarah Jessica Parker was one of seven or eight kids in Ohio. Amy Adams was born in Vicenza, Italy. And Natalie Portman was born in Jerusalem. Where are their birth certificates? And the beautiful Ruth Negga was born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, raised in London — no, in Ireland I do believe, and she’s here nominated for playing a girl in small-town Virginia.
Ryan Gosling, like all of the nicest people, is Canadian, and Dev Patel was born in Kenya, raised in London, and is here playing an Indian raised in Tasmania. So Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners. And if we kick them all out you’ll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts, which are not the arts.

They gave me three seconds to say this, so: An actor’s only job is to enter the lives of people who are different from us, and let you feel what that feels like. And there were many, many, many powerful performances this year that did exactly that. Breathtaking, compassionate work.

But there was one performance this year that stunned me. It sank its hooks in my heart. Not because it was good; there was nothing good about it. But it was effective and it did its job. It made its intended audience laugh, and show their teeth. It was that moment when the person asking to sit in the most respected seat in our country imitated a disabled reporter. Someone he outranked in privilege, power and the capacity to fight back. It kind of broke my heart when I saw it, and I still can’t get it out of my head, because it wasn’t in a movie. It was real life. And this instinct to humiliate, when it’s modeled by someone in the public platform, by someone powerful, it filters down into everybody’s life, because it kinda gives permission for other people to do the same thing. Disrespect invites disrespect, violence incites violence. And when the powerful use their position to bully others we all lose. O.K., go on with it.

O.K., this brings me to the press. We need the principled press to hold power to account, to call him on the carpet for every outrage. That’s why our founders enshrined the press and its freedoms in the Constitution. So I only ask the famously well-heeled Hollywood Foreign Press and all of us in our community to join me in supporting the Committee to Protect Journalists, because we’re gonna need them going forward, and they’ll need us to safeguard the truth.

One more thing: Once, when I was standing around on the set one day, whining about something — you know we were gonna work through supper or the long hours or whatever, Tommy Lee Jones said to me, “Isn’t it such a privilege, Meryl, just to be an actor?” Yeah, it is, and we have to remind each other of the privilege and the responsibility of the act of empathy. We should all be proud of the work Hollywood honors here tonight.
As my friend, the dear departed Princess Leia, said to me once, take your broken heart, make it into art.

Tilly

Yesterday just before I was leaving to watch Passengers, Saurabh gave me a call and asked if I had heard the news. I asked what news? And he replied with, “Tilikum died”. My heart sank.

It’s life’s ultimate cruelty. Sea World’s branch in San Diego had just announced their last killer whale show. The detractors of Sea World rejoiced. It was a small step toward what they had always wanted. Sea World closing shop, albeit one show in one branch. Of course, it did not mean that there would be no more shows of whales, dolphins, seals, or not to keep several species in captivity, elsewhere, doomed to live an unnatural life devoid of natural attachment and rightful freedom. But where Tilly, as he came to be known in affection, was imprisoned, there would be no showcasing of orcas.

It then came as such a tragedy that Tilikum, the whale responsible for generating such a verdict, would meet his end a week later. It’s almost as if he was born to bring an end to the shows, he had been a part of for approximately 30 years, which so heavily impacted the captured animal trade that exists for base human entertainment. His role in the universe was done and he made his exit amidst millions of tears and tragic applause.

He died at the age of 36. Two other people who impacted my life through their work and lives also died at 36: Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana. No strange thing that I felt a deep affinity for him ever since I saw Blackfish. The documentary left such an impact on me. I’ve grown up having this link to animals. I’ve been with dogs since I was four, and I have grown up in their company. A deep desire has always been to visit the Masai plains and watch the wildebeeste migrate from there to the Serengeti. It’s a calling that I have not yet wholly understood… and I don’t really try to. I have grown up with The Black Stallion being my all-time favourite movie. I used to watch Attenborough religiously in all of his shows dealing with the wild. I cried copiously when I watch Elsa, the lioness, walk away from Joy Adamson, and I remember not ever wanting to see that movie again, as a child. I couldn’t understand why they had to give her up to the wild.

I understand it now.

Freedom is something human beings should understand most of all. We have had revolutions dedicated to its cause. Humanity has so much grace and valour. We deem ourselves to be the most intelligent species on Earth, and yet, we are capable of such barbarism! Intelligent and yet oblivious. Glorious and yet despotic! Capable of such good and yet of such violence. Believers in a higher power and yet have no fear of it. Relativity is taken for granted and thinking through another perspective isn’t even applied. The concept of freedom, I know, can never be understood unless it is taken away.

My heart grieved bitterly. It continued to do so since years, when I hear about the plight of creatures that have been mistreated, victimised, slaughtered. It grieves now. It will continue to do so. But I am afraid that these debates have overtaken public consciousness to such an extent that it’s already a non-issue even in the minds of those who would otherwise care. Apathy created from explanation. It’s so strange. This is also a human condition.

Tilikum died. He died. Alone. Hanging in a small pool.

Ever since the death of Dawn Brancheau in February, 2010, his story has spread far and wide. But his condition worsened. Trainers wouldn’t touch him. He was kept in the size of a pool which would be the equivalent of a human being in a bath tub. He was hosed down instead of being massaged. He was isolated. His shows were cancelled. And he would rest perpendicular in this pool for hours – the sight of which is so horrifyingly filled with despair that even the most ignorant of human hearts would still in response.

I have no faith left in humanity. I have no belief left for higher governance, earthly or divine. I have no recourse except to mention in a most insignificant blog about how I feel and what Tilly meant to me. I just know now, that death brings the ultimate peace and for sure, he is finally at rest.

I end with a song dedicated to Tilly. Stay free!

Collateral Beauty

It’s been a while since a movie moved me to tears. I remember it happening when Meryl Streep sang The Winner Takes It All. Today, it happened – not so intensely, but it would have if I wasn’t sitting with a stranger to my left – because I was so deeply moved by the movie. I guess I realise why a movie is called a movie, and I know I speak figuratively, because otherwise it does derive itself literally from moving pictures.

The story was well-written. I loved the personifications of Love, Death and Time. They were surreal and brilliant. Kiera was effervescent as Love, Helen was fantastic as Death, and there was a new boy who played Time, I don’t quite remember his name.

Before the movie, something happened to put me in a melancholy mood. I had come out from a bath and so had Anand and all I asked him to do was lie down beside me and cuddle. Well, it so happened that it was just me cuddling. He couldn’t even bother to put his arms around me. You know, how they say life flashes before you, moments before you die? Well, love flashed before my eyes, and I realised that he truly doesn’t want me anymore.

It’s a bitter thing to swallow. He may need me for various reasons, but I think we are both pulling this through because we are just so used to each other now, we don’t seem to see a world where the other doesn’t feature – and ever since we opened the relationship any semblance of intimacy we had is truly dead. At least on his behalf. I keep trying to touch him, but then again, that’s just me. For him, he couldn’t even be bothered to try.

It’s not a sexual thing, love never was with me… And I have only just realised that – I always would equate making love with love and that is not true. There is a saying that Helen Mirren, as Death, mentions to a parent at the loss of their child, “Just make sure you notice the collateral beauty.”

That is what I have been doing… every time something little dies in me, I try and think of why I am carrying on. What pulls me to another day. What gets me to work at night. What makes me think of another Christmas. Writing this I feel I may just burst into tears, but all I am doing is think about the collateral beauty of it all. I just keep gathering it, and gathering it and gathering…