You hurt me by remembering,
Remembering, when you need me,
Forgetting, when I am alone
And sad and so life-weary.
You hurt me by asking favours,
When a hello would mean concern,
Sometime yesterday, when I had
Testing life lessons to unlearn.
You hurt me by being a part
Of worlds I never got to see,
You do not get to pity me
You can’t ask if I am lonely.
You do not understand now
What life will definitely show,
When it corrodes and torments you,
Then, then you will know.
There is this part of me,
A responsibility,
I feel it every day,
Scraping my insides,
I have reasoned with it,
Telling it to grow up,
Be strong and face life
And its reality.
I have bargained with it,
Giving it compassion,
Clothes and food,
Even a daily hug;
But it wants more.
I cannot give this thing
A loving glance,
It has remained the same,
I’ve outgrown this dance.
It asks me at daybreak,
If I still feel passion;
But time has changed me,
In every physical fashion.
It seeks to feel what I gave,
A long time ago,
I choose to bestow a hug
And nothing more.
It asks me at noon,
If I remember it at work,
And I want to yell
“How can I forget your fucking nails?”
It asks me at twilight,
If the sun is as gold
As the time we danced,
I look at the gold and think
How many more years
Before it burns out.
Perhaps if I ignore the thing,
Its own need will eat it alive.
I’ll prevent a rescue,
Even if it is from me –
Perhaps sadness will do the deed
For it can never be happy.
Hearts Still Care 