Prevail

I have seen myself in the mirror,
I have held myself as I cried,
I tore through the pain and carried on,
Even when the ones I loved died.

I have rallied through years of abuse,
Hate came from a father, much less strangers,
Yet I’ve never given up on love and hope,
Though each presents its own dangers.

I have repaired my heart several times,
And still choose to let new love hold it,
I have lost my pride to buy back hope,
After mostly all my lovers have sold it.

So I may have a fear of crumbling again,
When all my efforts in you may yet fail;
But I certainly know the strength in me,
Shall, come what may, make me prevail.

The Beginning

It starts with little things:
A shout in a conversation,
A caress shrugged off,
A turning away in sleep,
Or a small promise
One forgot to keep.

It starts small:
A forgotten holiday,
Or a hug once a day,
A letter never written,
Or a word one needed to say.
A refusal to touch
After all,
Speaks more than words
By not sleeping much.

It starts quietly:
No great feeling of loss,
Just a tingling warning,
A squinting of the eye,
The littlest lie,
And then there is
Destiny’s pulling back,
As it starts to die.

Float or Sink

Why is it that some men love fiercely –
Just in the beginning,
Once the quest of love – and lust –
Is done, the fire abates?

Maybe it’s true of humanity:
After you get what you want,
You don’t want it.
Marilyn once said,
If I give you the moon,
You’ll grow tired of it soon.

But then, why is it that I still
Keep reaching for what was promised?
In fact, I base all my love on it.
Why is it that as I love more
I feel yours slipping away?

Am I not a man?
Or am I not made for this world?

But I have learnt from this world:
My efforts will eventually fail,
Others shall make me feel and think;

And if it is meant to be, we’ll float,
And if it is meant to be, we’ll sink.