Let Go

I have let go of
My reaching out to you;
And your warmth in bed;
And otherwise, too.

I have let go of love;
And love has let me go;
I doubt there’s greater pain
Than that of feeling so.

I have let go of a past,
With no great regrets;
I have let go of how soon
Every man forgets.

I have let go of dreams;
Because mine are strangers,
With no wealth or power;
But different dangers.

I let go of being betrayed;
Of not being caressed;
I let go of the intimacy
That promises professed.

I have held lives I loved,
In the palm of my hand;
And made the decision,
You may never understand.

I have let go of ash
From the bodies I burned;
And let the sea have those
For whom I yearned.

When I’ll let go of hope,
I’ll give up the last part of me,
Then will there never be,
A speck left for you of me.

I Can

I can live without you:
I have my own, dear friends;
Memories that blossom,
In nights that never end.

I can smile without you:
Hours of movies I love,
I have no fear of death,
Or hope in god above.

I can thrive without you:
I have a love of books;
And art and poetry –
All that can’t come from looks.

I can love without you:
I have men who want me,
A family that cares,
Even strangers do see.

I do have a full life,
That can go on without you –
I can love just myself –
I have chosen not to.

Tonsillectomy

What can salt water do,
When Opioids have failed?
Pain currently
Has my life derailed.

It’s a childhood memory:
This pain, while I swallow;
But it’s so intense,
I cannot even wallow.

How do I explain it to you?
It’s like a pincer stabbing,
When A trickle of spit travels –
A shock – a jabbing –
A crescendo – unravels.

It’s a finger being cut,
Slow and steady;
But in the throat,
When I am not ready.

I wonder, if this is
Some penance I must do?
So okay, I shall suffer,
If I have to.

Pain, I know has a life,
With its ebb and flow –
I’ve made a memory,
With its undertow.

So on with the squeeze,
My remorseless throat,
Today, I shall sink;
But on the morrow, I float.