poem – Hearts Still Care

My Brave Daughter, My Gentle Son

The week passed;
Yet it feels you just left.
Your presence filled our home
Now it feels bereft.

The pigeons coo at the window –
I can’t tell you to shoo them off.
It was your calling –
Now they fly in to roost.

The house is asleep –
Even Zuri leaves me for bed.
You would stay –
For the slightest sound
Made you raise your head.

A protector – and mine by choice –
Your small black face with me –
Your eyes sharp and vibrant –
Untouched by duplicity.

The house is silent with you gone;
You have found Zach somewhere –
You’re both happy together –
Leaving our home bare.

Grief has robbed my sense of time
And I still say “my kids” instead of one –
Zuri misses your bossiness
And how you’d make her run.

Heart heavy, eyes swollen, brain numb –
And if I smile, I cannot forget
My brave daughter, my gentle son.

A diya, a picture and ashes,
All that’s left of your life,
And the memories you made,
The love you gave, despite strife.

What’s the use of my tears
Shed now before this light?
You’ve left and I’ve failed
To keep a grip this quiet night.

I didn’t falter seeing your meds,
Or your clothes, or your food,
I laughed with Zuri and a friend –
I thought I was doing good.

But morning came and I
Turned to your ashes and face;
I saw the diya flickering,
And I collapsed without grace.

How do I know love’s here,
Though you have died?
I feel it in each sob,
In each tear I just cried.

I let you go today;
I let you go, to sleep;
You are not in pain now
I, yet alive, must weep –

I cry for the love I had:
That which you showered on me;
I bid Death take it away
And it can no longer be –

I saw your body burn –
I saw the love you gave die –
I have met Death before –
I no longer ask why.

If I asked it of you,
I know you would stay –
Alive, you hobbled to me,
Though cancer barred your way.

But I sought peace for you –
Love makes it very sad –
I had you put to sleep,
Now it drives me mad –

You’re no longer in pain
So Death commands I weep –
Because as I let you go –
Our love I get to keep.