Each day the light grows closer,
Each day the spinal chord slows her;
All I can do for this heart of mine
Is bargain with what I hope’s divine.
I cannot appease my cold fortune,
So I just drag my heart to its tune.
I drag her on the roads she knew well,
My heart bursts, but hey, who can tell?
I see how she wishes her body could play
And I rue to see her struggle this way.
I have given death three children in pain.
After her, how will I ever love again?
She brings light into my dark life –
She is my daughter, sibling, wife.
As the light shines in the distance I know,
I will have to someday let her go.
But my heart cannot agree
To what must be, must be.
I guess this is what prayer helps with,
But I have no trust left, not a bit.
She is my heart, my heart is she
And my heart is dying silently.
Tag: pet
Dancer
I searched for a word
to rhyme with cancer,
and all i could think of
was the word ‘dancer’.
i just wrote a poem –
just yesterday –
of the hope i put to god,
to let her be okay.
but he doesnt exist,
so it was a fucked up hope;
cancer asks to dance again,
it widened its scope –
it danced with mom last year,
and now forces my pet,
i cant dare to pray,
it may not be done yet.
It may be God
spreading his fingers,
to catch any last hope
that perchance lingers;
but worry not,
there is none left;
you did your job well,
and now i am bereft,
of hope, of faith,
of all that i knew,
so instead of god,
i’ll just dance with you.
She
as she grows older,
my fear turns colder;
i ache to see how time wastes
sight, hearing, tastes.
she is my daughter,
my tears, my laughter,
she is my night mate,
she is linked to my fate;
she follows me around,
she longs to be found;
my heart is she,
what else could she be?
i really love her so,
even more than i could know,
yes, she causes my fear,
i always want her near;
for her, its the same,
i’m as sure as her name,
if she could speak,
i wouldnt be this weak;
all she wants to convey,
is a wish to play and play.
i hope God is kind this time,
to this heart of mine.
Hearts Still Care 
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