pain – Page 6 – Hearts Still Care

I Wish

I used to wish for many things.
I wished for a dog I could raise.
I wished to meet Superman.
I wished for my father’s praise…

I wished people I love wouldn’t leave;
I wished for love and laughter…
I once believed in fairy tales
And a happily ever after.

I wished, and I wished,
And slowly, I grew,
And woefully realised
All wishes do not come true.

And, if they did,
They brought deception,
For I thought I’d be happy
At their reception.

So I wish now to be wise;
But then I set this wish on you;
A gentle wish that I
Not miss us more than you.

It’s a darkness I touch every day
It comes from having lost so much
It comes from bitter experience
Seeking abstractions I cannot touch

It’s a hope that is out of reach
No matter what I do, feel or teach
I cannot trust the positive trope
Though trust is what would help me cope.

It’s seeing a possible future
I know may still not come to pass
Of not knowing the diamond I have
Is not just another piece of glass.

It’s being breathless and bereft
Certainty of death is all that’s left
And it’s not really helpful to see
That no one else can help me but me.

I have felt much in this life.
I won’t use a metaphor for tears.
There has always been a path
That led me through my fears.

Love comes like a blue moon night,
With its bitterness and its bliss;
And I have seen it burn on a pyre;
And felt it in each lover’s kiss.

I have felt my heart break
And I won’t relate much now;
But I shall salute its endurance
And how it kept every vow.

I have lost and lost and yet won,
For in losing, I’ve seen life grow;
And as I ache and blossom,
I relearn the art of letting go.