Tag: mypoetry

Regret

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

People come into my life
And they say they love
And then they take parts of me away
They take away favourite things of mine
Things I share with them
A movie I loved but now cannot watch
Because we bonded with it
A month I adored
By now I don’t because of a birthday
Sweets that craved
But now I can’t because I cannot bake
With him, of him, by him.
Small parts of my innards
Wound against a stick and pulled out
Slowly.
I have also begun self hate
Why would I not have the balls
To move on?
What makes my heart the way
It made my dad keep hammering me
Through childhood and teens.
Be a man.
Be strong.
Don’t be a pussy.
Son of a bitch.
You got shit in your head.
And here I am –
Being everything opposite.
Now I don’t do it with pride.
Pride’s gone.
Love has torn it apart.
It’s like you don’t want me
I don’t make you happy
But I’m willing to bend over
Backwards.
My father would have been so proud.
I’m not.
But there’ll come a time
When your own sense of political correctness
Will make you realise
You did a wrong.
You may not have taken a belt to me.
Just a slap. Long ago.
And I took it.
And I still wanted you.
Like I wanted my father to love me.
But I wanted a lover.
And you were crueller.
With dad, I knew he hated me. He left.
You loved me, you said.
You held me and said I promise.
And then, you decided for yourself.
And you left.
And you took my favourite things away.
And left me with regret
Something
Even my father could never make me do.

They Tell Me

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

They tell me, I’m older than you,
You’ll be quick to start life anew.
(Am I that easy to forget?
Don’t you have an ounce of regret?)

They say, you’ll find somebody soon;
You’ll give him the same sun and moon,
You gave to me when we first met…
(Will this darkness be all I get?)

Don’t you think of how I held you,
Of my heart lying beside you?
Isn’t there some love left in you yet
That makes me harder to forget?

Dirty Wishes

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

As I mourn your loss,
I mourn everything,
That time takes away
And death tends to bring.

Two loves have come to absence
But there is mom, aunt and sis,
And I have anxious furkids,
Who wait for attention’s kiss.

The world is on lockdown
And gives reasons for art.
It calls to a poetry
That rips from the heart.

I have chores and work:
Money matters like dirty dishes:
They have no sense of fatigue
Like love’s earliest wishes.

I have surrendered joy
To the fate-like powers.
I work at relationships
And I live through these hours.

My past knows I survive.
As the tears dry, I will know, too,
Sure, as the future knows life,
Life shall be known by you.