The day is here
Of my 47th year;
Friends and family smile,
As I beguile
Them in to believing
(Maybe deceiving)
That all is well.
If they can tell
I am done,
With all the fun,
I wonder what they’d say.
Who would truly stay?
I have come this far,
I have become a star,
Since all I do is yearn.
So now, just let me burn.
The night is ending into a summmer sun,
Its short detour has ended; it is done.
The crows are cawing; the heat slowly begins;
I wonder if I have paid for all my sins.
I ask for more time and time isn’t enough
To feel and consummate this love stuff.
There are battles that surge through the short night,
No one can determine what was right.
Each to his own in anger seethes,
Bitterness grows in the heart and feeds
All that happened in love and pleasure,
Until pain replaces all of its treasure.
Seldom can a heart overcome this woe;
Mine has been broken before, so I know.
If strength and will govern your heart,
You will choose then not to depart.
However, I shall try to love you less:
I love too hard and loving leaves a mess.
I wish you commit to this love you claim;
But your life is such that won’t speak its name.
So I shall try, and try, to pull back more
And remember lessons from the break before.
I painted you for your birthday;
I saw you happy with the flowers;
There was joy, and laughter, and cake;
But all of it lasted a few hours.
Cakes are eaten and art is forgotten;
Smiles, like flowers, die;
Everything that I thought was truth,
How quick becomes a lie!
There lies a bitter miscommunication,
In language and in thought;
If I could only disremember, too,
All that you, by default, forgot.
You say no, when you mean ask,
I think of “no” as consent withdrawn;
I see passion that means intimacy,
And you see the devil with his horn.
The hours pass and you return home;
My home remains the one you’ll leave;
So here lies love, with no faith, or calm,
That may yet choose to deceive.
The flowers are wilting, as I type,
The memories I made, still shake me;
As death comes for the flowers, I smile,
Hoping he, at least, won’t forsake me.
Hearts Still Care 
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