mypoem – Page 10 – Hearts Still Care

Alteration

What am I so afraid of,
Or is it that I can’t be
The ideal society
Has fashioned for me?

I try to be someone
That I cannot recognise,
An Achilles, or Zeus,
Who fucks and who lies.
But the mirror keeps laughing
At the medicated disguise.

Am I who I was then,
Or did I become their desire?
Years ago, I became a god
To make love to a loveless liar.

Yet, I was cast away!
(And that became my fear)
How and why must I alter
To keep whom I love near?

If I do succumb
And give in to keep,
Years later, alone and old,
Struggling to sleep,
Could I find myself,
After being buried so deep?

It’s a hug
That calms a storm,
A kiss that’s cool rain,
From a sun so warm.

It’s a touch
That stands apart in a crowd.
A glance
That makes breath so loud.

It’s the moon,
On a dark night.
It’s who or what
That brings you to its light.

Love is all the words
Poets have written or said,
It births in the heart
And lives on in the head.

I looked at you,
Over an aching heart –
The disgust in you
Gave despair a start.

All I wanted
Was made too clear:
Strong security
And freedom from fear.

Though I know all men
Are much the same:
I played this old game
That has a new name.

I walk the night again,
It will help me cope,
With a cold future,
That freezes my hope.

Your touch has lost warmth,
My eyes aren’t as bright;
You get more than you ask
And I have no will to fight.

I am alone again,
I make love alone;
It is alone I smile,
All alone I moan.

Intimacy was lust
They blurred in the start,
I must explain this
To this fallen heart.