Surprise

Standing on the terrace.
Billie’s singing
Bury a friend.
And I am thinking
No.
There is hope.
Prevent sinking
Hold a rope.

You’ll realise
You miss me,
Like in the movies,
“Indefinitely,”
Julia says.

You’ll drive to me,
Crazy, through town,
In spite of
The world locking down.
Come to where I stand
And hold me like you do –
Did –
And say, “surprise!
“I’ve been down
“You’ve been down
“But now, let’s rise, SF,
“Surprise.”

The Same

As I take the sleeping pill,
I dread the night ahead.
There is someone who loves me,
With his back to me in bed,
No one to hold me,
Like you once did instead.

The dark was my home,
You entered in it willingly.
I grew used to having another
Who touched sadder parts of me.
The saddest part is
I loved you all too much
Yet –
Not enough, you said,
Because I expected more.

I expected something
You could not see
As the morning light came.
You lost sight of the fights,
I fought on your behalf,
As the sun played his game.
Requirements of the earth
Took root –
What chance does the moon have
Against such a brilliant suit?

I hope the pill helps me
Reject the rejected –
For a few hours –
And face this fading sun
And all that he empowers.
In time, every star fades –
I will forego your thigh upon mine,
Your arm around my chest –
And I will still be the same moon,
Despite the sun’s very best.

Pillow

A virus ravages the world.

A famine envelops mine.

I crawl into bed,

Having no measure of time,

Sleep eludes me for days,

As your memory ravages my mind.

I lift up the pillow you used

And hold it to my face.

Your smell has followed you away.

I remember,

If you remember how I would,

Or if you undoubtedly felt

When you said,

I don’t want to be with you.