Life – Page 23 – Hearts Still Care

This is not what I chose to feel

This is not what I choose to feel,
When all I did was hold you dear;
I’m now hurt with no hope to heal
And instead of love, I taste fear.

The days of happiness die fast,
The tangled moments have no respite,
What will, eventually, last
Is gathered pain, after each fight.

I find that I must cringe and rue
The pain of life, the loss of love,
Who must I relegate blame to:
A devil below, a god above?

But I walked with open eyes,
Thinking this is what should be done
To hold joy before it wilts and dies,
To gather flowers under the sun.

If the skies greyed and storms began,
What matter who merits the blame;
All that counts is I was my own man,
Who held to each rule of this game.

You hurt me by remembering,

Remembering, when you need me,

Forgetting, when I am alone

And sad and so life-weary.

You hurt me by asking favours,

When a hello would mean concern,

Sometime yesterday, when I had

Testing life lessons to unlearn.

You hurt me by being a part

Of worlds I never got to see,

You do not get to pity me

You can’t ask if I am lonely.

You do not understand now

What life will definitely show,

When it corrodes and torments you,

Then, then you will know.

Sometimes the stars refuse to shine

And sometimes you see

There is no hope in the divine.

Sometimes the night is just a night,

With a pale sunset,

But no resurrecting light.

Sometimes life seems morbidly dark,

The moon robs each dream,

Every inspiring spark.

Sometimes all love does is pine

And though we try hard

We find no mercy in time.

Sometimes sadness bursts anew

And feelings tangle,

And faithless strength holds me to you.

Sometimes my words find no rhymes

So I hold despair and you close

And I go on writing – sometimes.