hsc285 – Page 58 – Hearts Still Care

I Stop

Published on May 1, 2020June 18, 2020 by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

Each time, I sleep,
I wake –
Having dreamt of you,
Smiling,
Sharing,
Caring,
Fighting.
I stop sleeping.

I do my work,
Think of how you helped
And encouraged.
I stop work.

I rearrange clothes
And find a pair of your socks
You forgot behind.
They are black,
With white hearts on them.
I stop rearranging.

I go for a bath
To soothe my body.
Look at your shelves
Filled with shampoos and creams,
Two toothbrushes, bent and bristly
And I want to throw them out.
Instead –
I stop bathing.

I go onto social media
And the first thing I check
Are your profiles…
I smile at the picture of a pizza you posted,
Wonder, if you ever check my feed,
And wonder at my smile.
I stop smiling.

I sit with my family
To talk about life.
Each one who loves you
Talk of what happened,
They wonder and they rage.
I stop talking.

Night falls and I dread
Lying down in bed.
I feel trapped and choke.
I cry.
Eventually,
I nod off…
…to dream.
I stop sleeping.

The Same

Published on April 27, 2020 by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

As I take the sleeping pill,
I dread the night ahead.
There is someone who loves me,
With his back to me in bed,
No one to hold me,
Like you once did instead.

The dark was my home,
You entered in it willingly.
I grew used to having another
Who touched sadder parts of me.
The saddest part is
I loved you all too much
Yet –
Not enough, you said,
Because I expected more.

I expected something
You could not see
As the morning light came.
You lost sight of the fights,
I fought on your behalf,
As the sun played his game.
Requirements of the earth
Took root –
What chance does the moon have
Against such a brilliant suit?

I hope the pill helps me
Reject the rejected –
For a few hours –
And face this fading sun
And all that he empowers.
In time, every star fades –
I will forego your thigh upon mine,
Your arm around my chest –
And I will still be the same moon,
Despite the sun’s very best.