I can put away the pill;
I haven’t put away my pain;
But sleep is lured to me,
As fatigue strives again.
The draining of the heart
Is a gruelling process –
a rigmarole of feeling
That affords no recess.
Four words from someone
Can tear you down;
Four words can also freely
Send in the clowns.
I want to try and see
If I can earn some sleep
Without its torturing –
Or its rest being deep.
If I can be let go,
Despite love and living,
It’s time to take heed
And start a self forgiving.
Strange how lifting
A body in death,
Though wrecks my back,
Still leaves me with breath;
But stifling
a heart break
Stops all air
my lungs make.
He meant nothing to me –
Except he was your father
Who turned you away
For being gay.
You did all you could
And I know you would;
Because that’s who you are.
Suffering teaches you
The value of death.
Seeing you do,
What needs to be done,
Breaking a pot,
Taking turns around the fire,
Lifting the water
And the clarified butter,
Like the body of your father,
Like I had done a few years ago,
Made me weep.
Abscesses linger
Of abandonment.
Wounds that have cut too deep
Don’t allow the momentum
Of life to fall back into joy.
You will leave by morning,
For duty, a calling
And a new suffering,
Time has chosen to employ.
Hearts Still Care 
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