Unafraid

There was a time, not long since, when this bed
Was where love, dreams and promises were made.
Now, as nights pass into virulent days,
And I get into cold sheets, I‘m afraid.

Your weight was my anchor to what we had;
But love has sunk into this large, cold bed;
It drowned, somewhere within, as you left it –
And I could save just memories instead.

I can’t even catch your smell in these sheets;
I wish you had loved enough and had stayed;
But you thought that love brings you happiness,
So, fled where you think you’ll stay unafraid.

“As the Sun Wakes”

As the sun wakes,
Thunder and lightning
Blanket his face
And shut his shining.

Might as well!
This day will be the same:
Where I suffer our love –
And you forget my name.

Reeling

Most nights I find myself wide awake!
There is this end of a world feeling
That takes over sleep and suffocates rest
And sends my mind reeling!

Thoughts and memories of what we were:
A tantrum thrown; a mock wrestling match;
A joke on shorts; a song we called our own;
A kissed bandaid put on a scratch.

I become Taylor Swift, who narrated
Personal loss, pain and bullet holes;
Or Adele’s soul, in royal Albert Hall,
Proclaiming love’s future goals.

When night passes and morning comes to spite –
I quietly shut the windows on its face…
I switch on some numbing porn, or maybe
Write a poem – to fill the sleepless space.

These lonely nights make me think and yearn
Of how he (probably?) is fast asleep,
While time holds me in such a fucked-up flux,
Wherein I can’t feel, much less laugh or weep.