Both dead to the world
If only my brain would cease to function
Like theirs does
On call, sleep.
Worry gnaws my inside
And crawls into my brain
Like a –
Slug in slow motion.
But sleep comes to them so easy
Like their brains never functioned
And their hearts never felt.
It must be nice to never know a slug.
It doesn’t come with a hello
It sneaks up behind
And pushes you into a dark alley
With broken lights under your feet
And suddenly you have no shoes
Memories scream towards you
Like a freight train
Out of control
You fall to your knees
Trapped
Forgetting about the broken glass
It swarms before you
And you can’t see
Blinded, and this choking sensation, as though you never knew light.
A smile reaches out, you reach out and you see people moving,
just where you had been a moment ago,
there is the thing you were doing,
you remember where you were going,
but that is a flash.
You are in that freight train, speeding,
And you want to fight
But light is such a fleeting thing
And smiles are too rare to be saviours…
it feels like someone is sitting on my chest
and the panic is like a wet cloth pressed on my nose
and eyes
and mouth
and i cannot breathe
some would think i am a seeker of
drama
and some would think i need to be crowned with a tiara
some would tell me brave it out,
this is just another test.
but i know this feeling
it happened when i was cheated on
it happened when my mother was diagnosed with cancer
it happened when i lost a child
it descends like a dementor from azkaban
i feel its mouth on mine
and i cannot remember any light
not a single memory of a smile
but there is this world reeling, reeling, reeling.
preventing any entry of hope or of healing.
Hearts Still Care 
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