Tag: Fear

Suicide

Published on by Harpreet Chhachhia7 Comments

I wish I had the courage
To take a blade to my veins –
And after this body dies,
See what really remains.

I can’t for the life of me
Think of ending it all,
Though I gave up on God
And fear no Great Fall.

If science has me as dust
And conscious free, let it be.
If I face a god, I’ll also see
Those gone once who truly loved me.

But the world has knifed me,
With love and belonging,
Yet it denied me faith
And ripped me with longing.

I guess, if death is to be,
It’ll eventually be.
I fear to make it a slave
To my sickly vanity.

So, though the fan and blade,
Terrace and sill tempt me well,
I choose to linger here and on,
Through life’s own heaven and hell.

Swollen Feet and New Tears

Published on by Harpreet Chhachhia1 Comment

It’s 5:30am;
My feet are swelling;
I may die.
I don’t know why
Medicines haven’t helped.
Doctors have tried:
Augmentin and ecosprin,
Dexa and para,
Haven’t yet seemed to win.
New fear is assailed –
I’m not fearful of death –
I have lived a nice life
And when I die,
I’ll be free of strife.

A moment to smile
That I’ll die younger,
And yet quite satisfied
All of my hunger.
Come morning,
If I survive,
I’ll have new fears,
I’m wondering if living
Is worth the new tears?

Afraid

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

Will others see me like you did?
Will this be the price of fame?
I do not like who I see now –
Will all of me remain the same?

I fear it isn’t so, never was;
And I do not think it will be –
Even you lied, eventually,
Taking away the best of me.

I wish I had power to be
A man with complete security;
No one to depend on or love:
A replete identity.

Yet, if you lied about your love,
Then your thoughts on me are false, too;
Ergo, I am not incomplete,
Despite the part I gave to you.