anxiety

Published on March 5, 2022 by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

It does not give a warning.
It is never, ever, kind.
It comes like a hurricane,
Playing havoc on the mind.

The heart allows it entry.
The brain never has a say.
Time becomes a mad whirlwind
That demands the present pay.

It’s falling in ice water:
The lungs are about to burst;
There comes the gravest hunger,
With the most terrible thirst.

All the world becomes a blur,
As the hurricane breaks you;
And if you are not grounded,
It will ravage and take you.

My Pneumonia and Zach’s MCT

Published on June 5, 2021June 20, 2024 by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I have just been dealing with the third CT report of my chest, that indicates no improvement as such in my lungs. Because the CT score is still 12/25. Karan says that I still have pneumonia. My blood work came back regular, with the Sedimentation Rate high. But that just indicates an inflammation which we know I still have in my lungs. Karan says that there is no fibrosis. I trust his opinion.

I booked a consult with Dr Bubna, and she called and basically said that she needed a comparative report with my CTs. She didn’t mention that last time, I just got it done for an additional 500 bucks – So anyhow she wanted it so she didn’t do the consult. So, Anand and I decided to go and speak to the CT lab directly and pay them the money. So we went, and I forgot to take my second dose of pirfenex. Sigh.

We also went to Posh Pets and Roman, hunting for oral hygiene tooth pastes and gum gels and gum wipes for the kiddos. They have both developed gingival hyperplasia. Zach has got it really bad. And when we visited the vet, we also had the growth on his stomach checked. Dr Priyanka did an FNAC.

We just got the report at 2am. It is a mast cell tumour.

Now I am freaking out, wondering if it is related to the oral break out that Zach has. I am actually feeling anxious and want to burst into tears.

These months aren’t being very kind, are they?

I have already lost someone very close to me… and I just don’t want to go through loss or trauma again – it’s just too much right about now.