Poo Tales

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

When you overestimate the intelligence of people, and you ask something of them which they misconstrue, you can have a catastrophe on your hands. Literally. After the Prime Minister’s speech, wherein he asked people to stand in their windows and balconies, and applaud the working communities of medical, public service personnel, people received a very different message.

At five o’clock, on 22nd March, in many areas of the country, people came out in crowds, banging on vessels and sometimes their own heads. Social distancing – the need of the hour – was completely forgotten. Some of my acquaintances, on Instagram, even believed that after the “Janta Curfew”, Covid-19 had been defeated! I had a couple of arguments on this issue, saying that eradicating the virus, after a 12-hour break from public life, was certainly impossible. Then, when it all fell on deaf ears, I gave up.

The point of this article are my kids. Zach is now seven years old. A beautiful brindle boxer who loves going down and playing with his toys. Xena is now six years old, a flashy fawn. She loves playing and taking away toys from Zach. My family and I make sure they are taken down, four times a day. However, now because of the quarantine disregard, things are going under curfew. My family and I respect the need of the hour. However, that being said, how do I explain this to Zach and Xena, my kids?

When you have human children, you can ask, cajole, bargain and explain. How do I do this with Zach and Xena? Early last year, I would take them to the terrace of my building to get them some exercise. However, there are certain people in my society, as I am well-aware there are out there in the world, who do not take kindly to animals. They look down upon people who keep them as family and they think animals are meant only in forests, cages or on plates. So, a complaint was shot down to the secretary and he banned us from taking the kids to the terrace.

At this point, I must strongly interject that Zach and Xena have never defecated in the environs of any society where I have lived. They have learnt to respect their spaces and in fact, run right out of the colony compound to pee and then after they play a bit in the garden, head out for a walk when they poo. (And, yes, we pick the poo up, too – which also brings to mind, the fact that there are no dustbins provided by the BMC in our area – but that is a topic for another day.)

I know only animal lovers will understand this plight of not being able to take your kids out for walks. These walks are also not for play time but for their basic requirements to relieve themselves. We are incredibly understanding of children incapable of understanding restrictions. Why do we not extend – if not the same – an adequate level of understanding for animals at home? Most of us, turn away at the sight of animal abuse. A man boiling a dog alive for food is revolting. A man tying a cow down and beating her head in with a gas cylinder is filmed too. Cruelty exists. But aren’t other human beings capable of showing empathy? We scroll away from such videos. We report them. We choose to be vegan. Can we also not help those people who have pets at home?

Maybe by just letting us take the kids up to the terrace for a breath of open air. I won’t be taking them to a party, or even with more family members. They can run around for a bit with me on the terrace and then I can bring them down. I can wear my mask, practice my own social distancing, and take them down for a short walk so they can do what is needful. But this cannot be done without more people understanding this. I know they won’t because people don’t trust other people to do what is right. I also understand this, because I have seen how hordes of people descended out in public places, just yesterday, at 5pm, to bang their heads, completely negating protocol measures. So, where does this leave my kids?

When I was raising them, they were both trained to use the loo. Xena would use it without a problem. She still uses the loo to pee, sometimes during the winter. But Zach refuses to do so. He being a gentleman, prefers going out. He cannot raise his leg in the bathroom. And to date, since he was two months old, has never used the loo to defecate. He looks at me almost to say, I don’t ask you to squat down in the garden to poo, why are you asking me to squat in your bathroom?

I know a lot of people will tell me that, once he really needs to really go, he will.

Perhaps.

He probably will learn to use the loo, before many human beings out there learn that staying at home for 14 hours won’t annihilate Covid-19.

Dean & Rory

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

We make so many mistakes when it comes to the question of love. We ache to be in love, even when we know that we won’t be able to handle it at a given time. Then, when we do fall in love, we tend to fall in love with people who are wrong for us, or who do not love us back. If and when we do find someone who loves us back, time soon comes as the great leveler of romance.

It confuses us with thoughts of what love ought to be, and how romance should have lasted. There is a mix-up of sorts and we tend to think of the gradual, staid warmth of love to be a poor substitute for the initial, tumultuous heat. We wonder. We worry we have lost what we had. We demand more. And then – then, we lose what was hard sought after. We forget what it took to get us to that point. Instead of understanding its progression, we mistake it as regression.

Maybe we get greedy. Maybe we deserve more. Who knows? What I do know is that we take what we have for granted. We forget how we felt before we had it and comparisons are made with probable things. Pride takes over, and most times, lies come crawling in. And the love that you had sought becomes something cold.

If it ever truly existed, love never dies. We bury it alive, in its comatose state.

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I am writing a review on a movie that has me super stoked. I saw Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan yesterday night. It lived up to its hype in my head. Of course, I have seen better movies dealing with gay issues and gay lives. But most of these movies come from abroad. We have had brilliant movies like My Brother, Nikhil and Aligarh that touch upon LGBTQIA lives sensitively, but an all and out romantic comedy that deals with a very proud, out-of-the-closet gay man – never! Very recently, we have had Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga, with such a brilliant script and supporting cast. But let’s admit it, though I have the greatest respect and admiration for Sonam Kapoor who takes on the role of a lesbian, and makes her the lead in a movie dealing with queer love and coming out, I just don’t like her acting.

So, that brings me back to this no-holds-barred out, gay love story! The movie deals with two boys, Kartik and Aman, who fall in love in Delhi and have to make a journey to Aman’s hometown to attend his cousin sister’s wedding. Aman’s dad finds out about his son’s sexuality and the resulting dynamic between intolerance and acceptance forms the crux of the movie. I won’t lie and state that the movie didn’t see things through the utterly rosy lens of a romantic comedy. It does however deal with a lot of issues, that become the winning formula of any Ayushmann Khurrana movie.

It is very important that an A-lister like Ayushmann has taken up a role that almost no one in Bollywood would touch. Homosexuals were to be made fun of, to be derided. How can I forget John and Abhishek in Dostana? But there was not a moment in this movie that was cringe worthy. Kartik, played by Ayushmann, is a bold, vibrant, out homosexual man, who leads the movie out through the messy mind of homophobia.

Most people find the first half of the movie appealing, but for me, it was the second half that held weight. It has a brilliant dialogue between Kartik and Aman, when Kartik asks Aman to stand up for himself and not get married to a girl. This is the most important conversation for me, because what one must always realise, or make very healthy attempts to, is the truth of who one is. One must always be true to who he or she happen to be. That is what Kartik tries telling Aman. To love yourself before you can ever possibly love anyone else.

Ayushmann had my heart when he wore the rainbow flag and gave a speech on the dangers of homophobia. The whole scene is over the top, but which self-respecting gay man hasn’t had to say these words to someone in their lives? Well, maybe not shirtless, but hey, who can say that hasn’t happened either? Ayushmann’s Kartik is where LGBTQIA people reach after a while: being sure of who they are and what they want from society. It is Jitendra Kumar’s Aman Tripathi’s shoulders that the movie stands upon. The small town boy who knows he is different, is in love, but cannot face up to parental pressures. This is his story. His journey.

Ayushmann and Jitendra have done lovely work. Many situations in their lives corresponded to either my life, or varied stories I have heard from the lives of my queer friends. Everything that Kartik says in regards to sexuality I have said at some point or the other. It was like hearing myself speak at times. The most important thing is when he tells Aman, twice, in the course of the movie, to completely and deliberately disregard what his father is telling him to do, because he must listen to his own heart. This is not Romeo telling Juliet to disregard convention, this is a Romeo telling a Romeo to understand biology. It’s a very important factor, that most of us do not notice.

Jitendra Kumar took on a role no one really wanted. But he has done lovely work with it. He has beautiful eyes and the vulnerability in them speaks volumes. He is the everyday, desi homosexual who is caught between his biology, his love and his family. And what a family! The supporting cast has done such a fantastic job! Gajraj Rao who plays Aman’s father, Shankar, and Neena Gupta who plays Aman’s mother, Sunaina, have outdone themselves. Their back story has such a layered sensitivity that again is briefly touched upon – having made choices ruled by convention instead of their own hearts. Some people may find Bhumi Pednekar’s cameo confusing, but being gay, one realizes how many of these incidences happen with straight girls and gay boys. (And it’s a nod to Shubh Mangal Saavdhan, their earlier movie together.)

The time given to this movie was too short. It moved too fast for me, especially whilst bringing in so many valid, heavyweight issues and dealing with them quickly. Most of the situations that needed a serious tone were made to seem totally flippant, like the scene where Shankar beats up Kartik. Homosexuals have been killed due to homophobia, and in this case, it was comic fare. I will also very grudgingly give this leeway, because to make something so serious occur would change the entire tone of the movie. Laughter is always easier to digest than tragedy – well, at least for me. I want a happy ending.

I left the theatre feeling good. I know the script had flaws. I know it isn’t a brilliant movie. But it worked for me, because of the very fact that the issues the LGBTQIA community faces were not made into a trope. They were given due importance, without sounding too preachy. And even if it did sound too preachy, it’s necessary, concerning certain audiences are seeing soemthing like this for the first time, in this kind of light! The movie even gave power to the girl who Aman is to marry. Strong women abound in the movie: women with voices, be it Sunaina or Goggle, Kusum or Champa. Everything fell neatly into place – nothing like real life – but if Raj can have Simran, then Kartik should so definitely have his happily ever after with Aman, too.