this is my life
a walk in the dark
a smile with a price
a devouring fire when all i wanted was a spark.
this is what remains
nothing to see ahead
nothing but tears and pains
nothing but a struggle to earn some bread.
this is what love grows
a heart that never dies
despite those million throws
of cheating, of slanders, of deceits and lies.
this is all I am left with
as life corrodes the body and soul
and I try to hold on to each bit
but cannot figure out which part was the complete whole.
I searched for a word
to rhyme with cancer,
and all i could think of
was the word ‘dancer’.
i just wrote a poem –
just yesterday –
of the hope i put to god,
to let her be okay.
but he doesnt exist,
so it was a fucked up hope;
cancer asks to dance again,
it widened its scope –
it danced with mom last year,
and now forces my pet,
i cant dare to pray,
it may not be done yet.
It may be God
spreading his fingers,
to catch any last hope
that perchance lingers;
but worry not,
there is none left;
you did your job well,
and now i am bereft,
of hope, of faith,
of all that i knew,
so instead of god,
i’ll just dance with you.
as she grows older,
my fear turns colder;
i ache to see how time wastes
sight, hearing, tastes.
she is my daughter,
my tears, my laughter,
she is my night mate,
she is linked to my fate;
she follows me around,
she longs to be found;
my heart is she,
what else could she be?
i really love her so,
even more than i could know,
yes, she causes my fear,
i always want her near;
for her, its the same,
i’m as sure as her name,
if she could speak,
i wouldnt be this weak;
all she wants to convey,
is a wish to play and play.
i hope God is kind this time,
to this heart of mine.
Hearts Still Care 
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