As Whole

this is my life

a walk in the dark

a smile with a price

a devouring fire when all i wanted was a spark.

 

this is what remains

nothing to see ahead

nothing but tears and pains

nothing but a struggle to earn some bread.

 

this is what love grows

a heart that never dies

despite those million throws

of cheating, of slanders, of deceits and lies.

 

this is all I am left with

as life corrodes the body and soul

and I try to hold on to each bit

but cannot figure out which part was the complete whole.

Dancer

I searched for a word
to rhyme with cancer,
and all i could think of
was the word ‘dancer’.

i just wrote a poem –
just yesterday –
of the hope i put to god,
to let her be okay.

but he doesnt exist,
so it was a fucked up hope;
cancer asks to dance again,
it widened its scope –

it danced with mom last year,
and now forces my pet,
i cant dare to pray,
it may not be done yet.

It may be God
spreading his fingers,
to catch any last hope
that perchance lingers;

but worry not,
there is none left;
you did your job well,
and now i am bereft,

of hope, of faith,
of all that i knew,
so instead of god,
i’ll just dance with you.

She

as she grows older,
my fear turns colder;
i ache to see how time wastes
sight, hearing, tastes.
she is my daughter,
my tears, my laughter,
she is my night mate,
she is linked to my fate;
she follows me around,
she longs to be found;
my heart is she,
what else could she be?
i really love her so,
even more than i could know,
yes, she causes my fear,
i always want her near;
for her, its the same,
i’m as sure as her name,
if she could speak,
i wouldnt be this weak;
all she wants to convey,
is a wish to play and play.
i hope God is kind this time,
to this heart of mine.