Category: Articles

Badhaai Do

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I’ll just say at the onset what I was thinking as I was watching this movie. I thought, and then said it aloud to my partner, who was sitting next to me in the theatre, “Would you have thought we would be seeing movies like this being made in India, during our lifetime?” He shook his head in the negative.

Badhai Do speaks of a marriage of convenience between a gay man and a lesbian woman. The movie is set in small town India, and the main protagonists hail from middle-class, upper caste families. Much like in the depiction of Shubh Mangal Zyada Savdhan. I loved SMZS – because it dealt with the story of two gay men in love, with a fervour and a zeal that made it over the top – like most pioneering statements with a hope for a better future. Badhai Do comes as a strategic step ahead.

It is nuanced and delves within character. There is not much of a back story of the two main protagonists. There is no explanation as to the whys or to the wheretofores of character buildup. They just are and the movie deals with a look into the future prospects of the characters of a certain age. The time when marriage pressure in India comes to a head. That in itself sets the score for the movie. It already comes from a space that looks ahead instead of looking behind.

Raj Kumar Rao and Bhumi Pednekar have done spectacular work in crafting the characters of Shardul Thakur and Sumi Singh.

Raj Kumar essentially brings in the angst of being a homosexual man in a “tough man job” and is in love with an MBA student. The fight portrayed between Shardul and Kabir in a motel room made me rethink about my own past. It may not have happened exactly in the same context, but the feelings of insecurity and need were bang on. In this relationship, ageism – that is such a deep-seeded fear in the homosexual community – also becomes the underlying issue – as Shardul mentions. It is almost karmic. It is so quietly mentioned that only those who have felt it will feel it. It’s the slightest touch of feeling – that leaves such a tremendous impact.

Bhumi’s depiction of a woman caught in a job that most in india would say is unsuitable for a woman talks about misogyny just as much as homophobia. Her sense stands head to head with Raj Kumar’s sensibility.

And then there is the question of living up to family expectations that don’t just end with marriage; but post the milestone of marriage there is the pressure build-up of having children. Something we as Indians, living in the second most populated country of the world, should have taken into hand – but no. It doesn’t just end with marriage, yo! Then there is the take on how women have to face the brunt of not getting pregnant. The whole family must consult a fertility specialist on her account. The man’s virility also comes into question – with jokes about his size and stamina. Apparently, it takes ‘one shot’ for ‘real men’ in our country. It’s just sad and it is so well done it is applaudable. The director Harshvardhan Kulkarni has actually done a brilliant job.

I must not forget to mention how important it is – for those who live a closeted life to meet those who live out of the closet. Both the main protagonists fall in love with out individuals. Self-assurance is hailed. And rightly so.

The coming out of the main characters takes its toll, as it always does. It is wonderfully portrayed – with the strength and gravitas that is needed to come out itself. But then, there in, I find a flaw within the narrative. For things to become alright, post leaving the closet, is the adoption of a child. It would seem without the adoption of a child there would be no forgiveness – no reconciliation – no acceptance. Then again, as I said earlier to my lover, a movie like this is big in itself – why ask for more?

But I think I shall. Maybe in the next venture, there won’t be a lavender marriage, there won’t be an adoption. There will just be love. And that will be enough.

Eternals

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

The lockdown ended. I have healed in body. I rejoined the gym. I got done with my double vaccination. I wanted to go for a movie in the theatre. So my partner, sister and I went for Eternals at INOX, Malad. I was excited to see Angelina Jolie play an immortal. She being as old as I, I wished to see how we compare. Delusions of grandeur, but they are what they are, then.

It was at the back of my mind that I had not gone for a movie since February, 2020, when my family was full and I had not lost two people I love. Shubh Mangal Zyada Savdhan had been the last movie I saw in the theatres before the virus attack and the crescendo of chaos that followed.

We went to the same theatre. The mood was not truly festive, though I tried making it so with selfies and snapchat. The mall was lovely. The theatre within, grand. I forgot though how I had felt after my losses. The moment you remember past experience at a certain spot: a selfie there, a touch there, a hug there, holding hands in the theatre and sharing popcorn.

The seats were the same but there were alternate placements. We were separated by a seat on either side. The experience was not the same.  Loss glared and memories churned. The movie –

Eternals is a brilliant movie. It is different from the scale and brightness of the Avengers, but it, too, resumes after loss, after the deaths of heroes we shared a decade with. It begins with the creation of all being, it transports us through time, intermittently with the present. It is not confusing, the time leaps or flashbacks are placed more to prevent confusion. It is not like the earlier marvel films, it is more adult, and more inclusive.

And let’s just get this out of the way, the reason for it being banned, please, nonsensical. One of the superheroes is gay, has a lover and a child and shares one same-sex kiss. If people still have a problem with this, in this day and age, then it truly is their problem.

Moving on, the film is more mature, despite all the naysayers, it is. I mean, we are talking about dazzlingly handsome gods with hammers flying around in other Marvel movies. Here, we see the Eternals being given the task of protecting humanity from the Deviants. They have been appointed this task by the Celestials, “superior” immortals. They are not supposed to interfere in events that humanity itself creates, or the wars and destruction humanity also creates. That is the long and short of it.

So now, I imagine the High Elves of Middle-earth, who were appointed to the task to guide the second children of Eru, Men. Being immortal, one has to face the weariness of life and the sheer stupidity of humanity. But also immortality makes one understand that humanity is capable of greater things. More importantly, being immortal, one begins to take on human emotion. When one recognizes love and its vessel, the vessel itself needs to be protected.. That is what the crux of the film actually is. It may be maudlin. It may be a bit of a cliché, but it is what it is.

Chloé Zhao succeeds in bringing this to the forefront. People who don’t want to appreciate what the film is trying to convey, will not, and it is alright. The director has done well with creating a superhero movie. It is not bad, like the Superman vs Batman movie, it is not as good as the first Wonder Woman, but it makes for good fare. It brings up issues like the horror human beings have in their hearts to commit, the weight of living life as an immortal and the idea of love that can be understood even by those who are not human.

For me, Angelina Jolie stands out as goddess of war, Thena, and Gemma Chan has done a fair job as the gentle Sersi. Salma Hayek. as the motherly Ajak, completes the main female trinity. The film has well-crafted action scenes. Angelina is made for roles like these, by the way.

The movie had two scenes which touched me. One where Barry Keoghan as Druig confronts Ajak and tells her that he cannot remain an idle bystander while human beings commit atrocities on one another. Two, where Thena speaks to Sersi and talks to her about why humanity needs to be protected. The themes are simple and they are treated simplistically. These are gods who can do something about something and they do it. Simple.

I went there to watch Angelina and I ended up liking the movie. In the last Avengers movie, I went to see – I don’t even remember who I went to see. I probably will see this movie again though. It made me think about the love I have lost and the love I have gained. It reminded me that life is shit and our purpose here is to try and stop it being shitty. I left the theatre not feeing cheated of the seven hundred bucks I paid to watch the movie, and scenes from the movie remain with me hours later.

The Abuse of Love

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

We take so much abuse in life. As a child, I was bullied because I was effeminate. I remember a boy uprooting grass from the mud and slinging it across my face. I must have been eight years old then. I remember walking down a market with my father beside me. a man came across us and grabbed my genitals and squeezed. It hurt and I told my father. He said if I walked the way I did, it was meant to happen. Through my childhood, I saw the tantrums of an alcoholic father. He was caught up in the grips of his own addictive neuroses.

He banged the walls of the house with his fist. Each sound would reverberate through the house and I would find succour in the hands of my grandma. He would punch his fist into walls, doors, the floor. He would return home every day, smelling foul. He would slam doors shut or open, depending on his need. To this day, when a door slams, my heart grows cold. Today, the Zoomers would talk of emotional abuse being tantamount to physical abuse. I have heard it said, “first they hit near you, then they hit you.”

When my mom moved into her home, my parents attempted a reconciliation. But she forgot that she would be leaving a jobless alcoholic alone at home with her son. There was no grandmother around then. The beatings began when I was thirteen years old. He would ask something of me, an errand, a command, a threat and I would stand up to the bullying. In school, I was different and so, hounded and ridiculed. I would find a means to escape. I would flee to the lavatories, spend the recesses there. At home, I could not do that, he would have kicked the door down.

On hind sight, he would not have done that because then his abuse would be realized by my mother and my aunts. Instead, he would grip my neck, like Mr Spock in Star Trek. Of course, the pain was excruciating but I would not pass out. He would cuff me on the side of my head for disobeying an order. Sometimes he would throw food. As I grew, and realized who I was and became vocal and shameless about it, I decided to fight back.

The fights then grew worse. I pause as I think about them. I was thin and scrawny and he was massive then, fuelled by the force of alcohol. Eventually, I realized my homosexuality was his trigger. He admitted to me, about two years before he died, that he knew I was ‘like that” since I was two years old. I have known fathers who have allowed their 2 year old sons to dress up in skirts. My father did not belong to this tribe. The last time he laid hands on me, he nearly choked me to death. He probably would have, if my sister would not have yelled out to my maternal grandfather who had come visiting our home.

I remember how shaken up I was after that. Today, I have knowledge on where my anxiety stems from. There is this build-up of pressure. Knowing that there is this figure who is supposed to have protected you, waiting to attack if you do not do exactly what he says. There are people out there, in the midst of humanity, who are capable of the most gruesome horror. I have read about them and understood their reasons. I have been on the receiving end of violence. Physical, emotional and mental.

The men that followed in my life have stories of their own. I have been abandoned by two, I have been forsaken by one, and with the last who still stands by my side I have been left unheld. It is confusing to me at times that our languages of love are so problematic. Men who are intimate have no qualms in abandoning you at their whim and fancy. Men who are cold can love you without any sign of intimacy. It never really comes in a single package and I wonder if it ever will. My quest for a man who doesn’t abuse seems futile. I have not given up on the idea of being loved. I have given up on the idea of us being divine.

We are all flawed. Sometimes, terribly so. I have been a stern father, but I have been intimate and loving, too. I have been a demanding lover, but I have been honest and affectionate. There are no hard and fast rules on love. My father never beat my mother. In his own way, he loved her. He just drew a line at loving a son he didn’t expect to have. But isn’t that what love actually is? It’s a promise you make without expecting your own charter of rights to be fulfilled. For better or for worse.