Rest, Virginia

3034_105277983184_6675295_nI knew her when I was a child. We lived in the same building, separate wings. I would go to her home often. My love for Christmas began here. I used to love the tree her sister, Astrid, had sent in from abroad. It was white and I remembered thinking it was the most beautiful thing I had seen, one December afternoon, nearly forty years ago.

She was a friend who I could be comfortable with, talk to and generally chill out with. I heard the latest songs from the west at her home. I was introduced to George Michael, Boney M, ABBA, Jim Reeves at her home. She had a host of siblings who also became friends. I remember the lovely food at her home. The games we played each evening in our compound. The stories we shared.

16387134_10154985840288185_3990194177595256758_nWhen we left Bandra in ’87, we lost touch. We grew up and apart. It’s sad how life can take you down different corners. Looking back, we reconnected through Christina. And I had a chance of meeting both Christina and Virgi, two years ago. We shared memories and it was a lovely few hours spent together, reminiscing and thinking of our collective childhoods. It was a time that was filled with such beautiful memory and innocence. Libraries, books, trips, common friends, music, Christmas.

I heard about her death when I woke up today. It’s a dark day. But for us who are left behind. I am sure she is happy wherever she is now. She shall always be remembered by me as one of my first friends – who took me just as I was and am. Rest in peace, Virgi.

 

You Couldn’t Tell

When we were young and when we loved,
I believed it all to be true,
And maybe you believed it, too.

When you left and when you promised,
Fidelity was not deceit,
Spanning oceans seemed no great feat.

But society had concerns,
Ambition had its own power,
Love became matter of past’s hour.

If I could say something to you,
Following two and twenty years,
I still could not without these tears.

I’m too old to call this weakness,
I guess I loved and much too well,
It was just tragic you couldn’t tell.

Depression

It doesn’t come with a hello
It sneaks up behind
And pushes you into a dark alley
With broken lights under your feet
And suddenly you have no shoes
Memories scream towards you
Like a freight train
Out of control
You fall to your knees
Trapped
Forgetting about the broken glass
It swarms before you
And you can’t see
Blinded, and this choking sensation, as though you never knew light.

A smile reaches out, you reach out and you see people moving,
just where you had been a moment ago,
there is the thing you were doing,
you remember where you were going,
but that is a flash.

You are in that freight train, speeding,
And you want to fight
But light is such a fleeting thing
And smiles are too rare to be saviours…