“Sleepless night descends on my world again.”

Sleepless night descends on my world again.
I find solace in the sun no more.
A veiled indifference, but no pain,
Fills a once-treasured heart’s now withered store.
No thing, no one, no where fills all life;
Little of my pleasures lie surfeit;
A withdrawal from joy and from strife;
No mem’ry of a hunger to satiate.
Played with Zoe, left her tired but content.
I envied this state, playful, panting, spent.
Cringed, when thoughts barged in to mar this time:
Thoughts of how death could travel in a kiss,
How vain to pour tears into wasted rhyme,
How fatefully one’s life could come to this.
6am
4th april 2007

“I marked the time I was your only friend”

I marked the time I was your only friend,
When you, all alone, knew not where to be;
I mark the time, now that we reach an end,
As you would want to think no more of me.
You needed someone near and I was there;
Funny! How I thought of you as so sad!
I reached out and showed you how I did care,
I knew you thanked me then and you were glad.
I marked the time. I mark the time again,
When you don’t see me as I pass you by,
My heart shrivels, but my pride doesn’t complain
And I know it’s fruitless to mourn, or cry.
But be sure when a heart’s broken by you,
Time shall seek yours out and break it, too.

16th November
edited 10th February ’08.

To Bonzo

The words I write now may not seem so true,
And neither shall I plead forgiveness, dear,
For all I said and did just to hurt you.
For who shall see my grief, or the lone tear
That falls upon your grave besides the sea;
To whom shall I turn now? Who is all mine?
Sweet death, which lifts your soul to be set free?
Or Life, which is mortal, thus not divine?
I hearken! Yet I know, ‘tis but in sleep
I feel he sound your heart beats on mine own;
But when I see the dawn, I cease to weep
And thoughts of loss I can’t help but disown.
For when I weigh the smiles against the frowns,
My lone tear ‘mid the sea rapidly drowns.

2nd August