shame

Stand a bit straight,
Lose a bit of weight,
Hold your stomach in,
Just so you fit in.

That boy there wants you –
You sure think it’s true…
He looks at you and smiles;
The seeming truth beguiles.

So you stand a bit straight,
Hope he doesn’t notice the weight,
Hold your stomach in,
And hope you fit in
His idea of beautiful…
You know,
What he thinks is cool.

He says nice things,
Oh, the joy that brings!
Talks and walks follow,
It’s how it’s meant to be, no?

You look up at his eyes,
He says there are no lies,
You believe and give in,
You feel,
You have fit in.

You show him your flaws;
You retract your claws;
You bring out your inner clown,
And
You let your guard down.

But

It just takes a shrug,
It just takes a word,
It just takes a scoff,
Never meant to be heard.
A looking away
When you want those eyes,
A tender word
To ease your soul
Which never appears,
His backing off
As you lean closer,
His being sated
And your hunger,
He has found himself,
All you are is lost.

So you cannot stand straight,
Hate your own weight,
Look at your body, face, hair
And you stare and stare and stare.
All you see looking back is you;
Try to recall whomsoever liked you;
If any of it was ever really true
And blame the answer standing before you.