I saw you, day before,
Moving on, on some dating app;
You looked good; I smiled;
I didn’t fall into some anxious trap.
After ten months, I thought,
I have begun to let go –
But now I fear my mind
Keeps secrets it doesn’t show.
I know now that nothing
Was what seemed about you;
And yet, last night, as I slept,
I dreamed about you.
I look for you in different faces,
Some are cold and some are kind;
But I can’t touch any of the spaces,
Where love was gentle and blind.
I reach out to strangers,
Unmindful of their fear, too,
That there are certain dangers
Of trying to forget you.
I seek them out and express all my hope,
That someone out there will feel,
Will bar anxiety, or help me cope,
Wipe my tears, or help me heal –
But it all ends up happening again –
Expectations burn promise.
New hurt makes stronger unforgotten pain,
From your last words and our last kiss.
I wrote about it to last me for years;
But it seems like time has stood very still.
It has cost me sanity drowned in tears,
And yet feeds, for it has not had its fill.
I haven’t been able to learn much from time;
In all, but pain, I have grown carelessly:
Like a teen, I still want what is called mine,
Like a sage, I still give in helplessly.
I wrote about it from blood of the heart;
There needs be some worthy credit to thought.
I wrote, I write, I writhe. It won’t depart
This wretched battle so very hard fought…
Every word here, ultimately, dies,
Before lighting any spark in your eyes.
Hearts Still Care 
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