Dumb

I don’t want to waste time,
On insensitivity,
Or on a so-called friend;
memories turn bitter and sour,
As disgust takes over in the end.

I can only look to myself,
For I gave myself again,
To those who chose to hate
And bestowed only pain.

Maybe I am not to blame,
I am not the one in the wrong,
I cannot change the rules of the game,
Just to make myself strong.

I know enough of love by now,
Of how quick it can break,
Under the pressure of fame,
Or the balance of give and take.

Yes, I am not the one to blame,
For opening my heart and home,
To anyone who betrays both.

I regret my heart,
I regret its feeling,
I fear it, itself,
Prevents its own healing.

I am dumb like a tree,
That shelters and cannot stop
The ax that ultimately,
And unequivocally,
Shall make it drop.

Sweetly

I close the windows
against the rising sun
and the heat invades the room.
It’s stifling and muggy,
clothes stick to my body,
like flies into honey.
I wish hope could
fetch the same stickiness
and cling,
hard and fast,
with a warmth
that is messy
and sweet.

I still seek
a father.
No matter how far
the hills have grown,
and how desolate
the past appears,
there is so much to climb,
without hope,
without support.

You do not know,
how age creeps up
on the alone,
if i could be
a father,
i would have known
how i should have been
loved.

But there is no honey
to call the flies to,
just a rising sun
that beats down the hills.
Sweetly.

Rise

I have stopped understanding.
I will not sacrifice Right.
I will stand up for myself,
Even if I lose the fight.

Don’t expect me to bow down,
Or think on the larger cause;
Yet I am not violent;
That is not one of my flaws:

But I stand up against those
Who don’t get my Right to Live,
I am not one to forget,
If you ask me to forgive.

I am not understanding:
I reject any decree
That will not let you love
Someone different, like me.

I know who I was, and am,
I’ve every right to be!
For my right to love and live
I will rise up willingly.