“Sleepless night descends on my world again.”

Sleepless night descends on my world again.
I find solace in the sun no more.
A veiled indifference, but no pain,
Fills a once-treasured heart’s now withered store.
No thing, no one, no where fills all life;
Little of my pleasures lie surfeit;
A withdrawal from joy and from strife;
No mem’ry of a hunger to satiate.
Played with Zoe, left her tired but content.
I envied this state, playful, panting, spent.
Cringed, when thoughts barged in to mar this time:
Thoughts of how death could travel in a kiss,
How vain to pour tears into wasted rhyme,
How fatefully one’s life could come to this.
6am
4th april 2007

“A friendship ended today”

 

“A friendship ended today”

A friendship ended today.
An old friend did I forsake.
The relationship died quiet.
I attended the wake.

Sad, it happened on this day
Of giving and receiving;
But I finally realised:
‘Twas me I was deceiving.

I am no saint or patron
To give in so, take all pain;
I have a heart that hurts
And cries against such disdain.

Perhaps I am wrong…perhaps…
Old friends are hard to find.
But I am done with insults!
So I paid back some, in kind.

Perhaps my heart’s growing hard,
Harder than it ought to be;
But, if friendship made it so,
Oh, what friends are these to me?

If, to heal a wounded heart,
We seek the company of friends,
Pray tell, to whom does one turn,
When friendship itself ends?

25th December, 2007

Life tells me to run now, run fast:

Life tells me to run now, run fast:
Make each moment count, each smile last!
The night haunts me, the house cries
The shadows gnaw and all light dies.

A sliver escapes and flashes like a star
But that sliver is small and it’s so far.
I stand among roses and thorns
And even use my heart’s evil horns.

I stretch my hand right out, I ache
To acquire it before these horns break
The heart already bleeds and the dark closes
While an invisible worm rapes my roses.

A black, fathomful river twists my way
Rolling, eating each hope of fading day

Sweat pores down my temples, I stretch
My hand to that sliver of light…
Nausea builds, breath stops, I wretch
And my body becomes a miserable sight.

I hear the river; the horns break;
I fall into my roses; the thorns cut
Into my flesh and I cry, “For my sake,
God, for my sake!” But

All I hear in response is the closing river;
He becomes the taker I become the giver;
I stand, wounded, and gaze at that star;
Can hear the water rushing, not very far,

And wait for it carry me to a different land,
Or for that star to fall,
Into my outstretched hand.