I gave up this night,
When you moved away,
My arm dropped from you –
You didn’t let it stay.
I felt the hurt again;
And it drove my sleep away;
You knew I shrivelled;
Yet you slept on anyway.
I am so tired of this:
Being shunned for touch;
Despite the sweat and heat,
It’s really not much.
So when you let me go,
I decided I won’t fight,
I gave you your comfort,
And I gave up tonight.
I write in contrived rhyme,
Of love found, and of love lost,
Through the years, what I achieved
And exactly what it truly cost.
Why do most get a careless sleep,
When dark thoughts harass me so?
Why do I ask these stupid questions,
When their answers I already know?
Giving of myself comes easy;
Though I am no stranger to my worth;
I ought to be less human to
Carry on life, no matter the hurt.
I am tired of this roller coaster,
I am tired of the bitterness and pain,
I’m even tired of the truthful smiles,
That I know will surely come again.
I know love alters, when it shouldn’t,
I know death hangs around to take us all,
Yet I know I’d do it all just the same,
For I know, I’ve, within, the wherewithal!
What am I so afraid of,
Or is it that I can’t be
The ideal society
Has fashioned for me?
I try to be someone
That I cannot recognise,
An Achilles, or Zeus,
Who fucks and who lies.
But the mirror keeps laughing
At the medicated disguise.
Am I who I was then,
Or did I become their desire?
Years ago, I became a god
To make love to a loveless liar.
Yet, I was cast away!
(And that became my fear)
How and why must I alter
To keep whom I love near?
If I do succumb
And give in to keep,
Years later, alone and old,
Struggling to sleep,
Could I find myself,
After being buried so deep?
Hearts Still Care 
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