I Walked For Miles Tonight.

I walked for miles tonight; despair my goad;
From your doorstep to the signal lights of Link Road.
My feet moved on, with strength endless,
And time found made my mind confess.
Thoughts assailed me from hither and yon;
But, yes, as I walked on, I grew less forlorn.
From the time I left you, I searched for Hair;
But this need was overridden by despair.
As I rounded Mithibai, I looked up at a tree:
Streetlights lit its polished leaves in vanity,
Their bellies glowed golden like the setting sun,
For all their show, my gaze on them was the only one.
I was part angry, part dejected, because of you,
Though a few smaller factors were at work, too.
Betrayals I am well-versed with, for sure!
And regarding them, time, I know, is the best cure!
I passed Juhu Gali and saw a bitch and her puppy,
Felt love, hate, depair, frustration, felicity…

I want you to steal the fire from the sun;
Wish you to declare: for you I am the only one;
That you’ll be mine despite even Heaven above!
Lover, if words are not your scope then act!
Don’t play dumb when you dislike a lover’s act!
I part venture out at night to see
How far could I go before you stop me.
Hold my arms, bar my way!
If not implore, demand me stay!
Say my walking alone at night
Fills your heart with fright!
Don’t just offer money and say go back home,
Bring me back to make sure I don’t roam.
To me, that would speak of how much you care,
Ah! But your pride leads to my despair.

At Sony’s showroom, I looked up at the sky,
And, through the clouds, saw a plane pass by,
Thoughts of my sister, in a distant land, assailed,
Thoughts of spurning riches prevailed;
I did so, for I gave value to matters of the heart,
But you, too, saw different right from the start…
I do not doubt the measure of your love for me –
But pride and lack of action suits your vanity;
Then there are filial ties that bind you;
And I’m suffocated by my age, too.
Moments pass and I finally sit in a rickshaw,
I look at hair and get reminded of each flaw.
Then I return home to compose this verse:
Construct a marriage car fused with a hearse.
I have still no clue as to what’s wrong or right;
But know there’ll be more walks for me at night.

2nd September, 2004.
3:00 am

The Star.

The Sun melts in the Ocean blue
And sparks fly in the Sky,
To make it a red-purple hue,
That turns dark by and by.

The last orange dips in the water,
Which is aflame with red,
And it brings the Day to its slaughter,
As it takes Night to bed.

The Moon rises to rape the Star,
Which has wishes to give;
Dark, purple clouds smog up to mar
The Moon. They seem to drive

The Star out of harm’s reach, but, then,
As Night begins to play,
The Star within the Moon’s lighted den,
Cannot, blissfully, stay.

A dog begins to howl and bark;
Crickets cry and bats fly,
Around and around in the dark;
They know—something must die.

The clouds cover the Moon with fog
And the Star shines alone;
The Wind drowns the howling dog
With its deep baritone.

The Moon appears again to shine;
The Star trembles in fright;
The Moon seems to cry: mine, mine, mine!
And all’s quiet in the Night.

Then, suddenly, the Moon turns dark:
A red, maroon, then – black!
The Earth’s grim shadow puts its mark,
And gives the Moon its back.

Lost in power the Moon lies cold.
The Star lives on – to light
The Earth with a glory untold
And defeats the Moon’s night.

Life tells me to run now, run fast:

Life tells me to run now, run fast:
Make each moment count, each smile last!
The night haunts me, the house cries
The shadows gnaw and all light dies.

A sliver escapes and flashes like a star
But that sliver is small and it’s so far.
I stand among roses and thorns
And even use my heart’s evil horns.

I stretch my hand right out, I ache
To acquire it before these horns break
The heart already bleeds and the dark closes
While an invisible worm rapes my roses.

A black, fathomful river twists my way
Rolling, eating each hope of fading day

Sweat pores down my temples, I stretch
My hand to that sliver of light…
Nausea builds, breath stops, I wretch
And my body becomes a miserable sight.

I hear the river; the horns break;
I fall into my roses; the thorns cut
Into my flesh and I cry, “For my sake,
God, for my sake!” But

All I hear in response is the closing river;
He becomes the taker I become the giver;
I stand, wounded, and gaze at that star;
Can hear the water rushing, not very far,

And wait for it carry me to a different land,
Or for that star to fall,
Into my outstretched hand.