mypoem – Page 14 – Hearts Still Care

Tonsillectomy

What can salt water do,
When Opioids have failed?
Pain currently
Has my life derailed.

It’s a childhood memory:
This pain, while I swallow;
But it’s so intense,
I cannot even wallow.

How do I explain it to you?
It’s like a pincer stabbing,
When A trickle of spit travels –
A shock – a jabbing –
A crescendo – unravels.

It’s a finger being cut,
Slow and steady;
But in the throat,
When I am not ready.

I wonder, if this is
Some penance I must do?
So okay, I shall suffer,
If I have to.

Pain, I know has a life,
With its ebb and flow –
I’ve made a memory,
With its undertow.

So on with the squeeze,
My remorseless throat,
Today, I shall sink;
But on the morrow, I float.

You may never read my poems,
I may never worship Grace;
You may never tell your family,
I may never give you space.

You may never know my tears,
I may never tell you a lie;
You may never keep the peace,
I may never say good bye.

We both have our share of nevers,
Through passion, time and space;
And our destinies are woven,
Like the lines etched on my face.

I know it’s not woke
To let others tell you
What you are worth.

But it’s hard to estimate
That
Yourself,
When life has shown you
Bulges where none should be
And curves where lines were.

It’s hard when you try
To explain
And the ones you love
Misunderstand.

It’s hard when the mirror
Gives you a hard look.

It’s hard when your mind
Reflects the mirror.

It’s hard.
Because you are not
When you look at me.

But
I also know
My cup of tea
Is a balm for some.
I can invigorate
Or relax.
Some.

It’s not woke to see myself
For others.
But it’s the test for souls
That need bodies to reside in.