my Poetry – Page 33 – Hearts Still Care

.wen

Dreams terrify me!

You enter with different names

And my mind uses them

To play terrible games.

I’m tired; because i’m hounded

By the hours of sleep I get.

(And trust my heart:

It just really wants to forget.)

Weary, worn out and wasted,

Tears have long since dried;

But the emptiness alone,

Reminds me I haven’t yet died.

I saw you, day before,
Moving on, on some dating app;
You looked good; I smiled;
I didn’t fall into some anxious trap.

After ten months, I thought,
I have begun to let go –
But now I fear my mind
Keeps secrets it doesn’t show.

I know now that nothing
Was what seemed about you;
And yet, last night, as I slept,
I dreamed about you.

I will place the Laurel wreath,
I will put up the green tree,
I will laugh with concerned friends,
And that’s just what you will see.

The tears I shed for us,
At each breaking of dawn,
Won’t be placed in the crib,
You bought from Bandra town.

The wrenching of my heart
Succumbing to sorrow
Will not be baked in cakes
I order tomorrow.

There will be the advent,
There’ll be carols and cheer;
But all will be aware
You chose not to be here.

There will be frost and ice;
At home, all that is nice;
But, in my heart and head,
I’m crucified instead.