Golden Eyes

I met a young Labrador roaming the streets after midnight. I first saw her while I was out walking with the kids; I had to hand Zuri and Zena over to Anand so I could approach this beautiful black Labrador. She must be around one to two years old, as she’s still quite small and seems to be growing into adulthood. Her eyes are golden-brown, pools of sadness, and she looked up at me with the most beautiful eyes I’ve seen since seeing Zuri’s.

I felt an immediate, profound sadness for this dog, wandering the streets without a collar or name. I don’t know her story or whether she’s lost and frightened, perhaps left her home because of the Diwali fireworks, or if she was tragically abandoned, as so many dogs are every day.

Each year, countless dogs are displaced by the noise of Diwali fireworks. It’s crucial for us to recognise that we share this ecosystem with other beings who don’t understand our traditions and rituals. This issue isn’t confined to Diwali in India—similar things happen worldwide, whether on the 4th of July in the U.S., the running of the bulls in Spain, or the fireworks at weddings.

Yet, people who are deeply religious or defensive about traditions might dismiss our concerns, saying, “If you care so much about these animals, why don’t you take them into your own home?” But every living creature has the right to exist. Forcing animals from their homes/spaces due to noises they can’t comprehend is behaviour we can collectively work to avoid.

However, I’m at an age where I understand that humans tend to prioritise themselves, often neglecting the impact on everything around them. Whether it’s the food industry, mining, deforestation, resource exploitation, or climate destruction, these issues are rampant. A lost black dog running through the streets of Mumbai, scared and homeless, is sadly low on most people’s list of concerns.

If I had more space, I might have taken her in, but I already have three furkids and a family of six under one roof. If my sister and I had separate homes, perhaps I could have taken her in and found her a loving home. My mentor often tells me that I can’t care for everything and everyone in the world, attributing it to my “controlling” nature—my tendency to protect those I believe need safeguarding. He once even said I had a “saviour complex.” Be that as it may, I believe that if more people felt even a fraction of the empathy and compassion I felt when that dog looked up at me, the world would be a kinder place.

Him and You and Me

Our love was unusual
And most could not understand;
But, as long as we three did,
It was bliss, it became grand.
It was him, and you, and me,
And it was all bright then.
Being understood by all
Was not for us three gay men.

You left, a few days ago,
Giving me no chance for hope.

He lies with my burden now,
He struggles to help me cope.

I held you to this standard:
My other pennant of care…
Now I stand devastated,
Before all, ashamed and bare.
He tries to shield my spirit,
As they were all proven right.
For you could not choose to stay –
And gave up without a fight.

 

 

If only I had loved him instead of you

If only I had loved him instead of you:
What all could have been different in me;
I would not have to become someone new,
Every time I hoped you would choose to see
How I looked to gain any affection
From your eyes that never softened on mine,
Or your hands that never sought direction
To touch me and still that moment in time.
If only I could love him. He looks at me
The way a thirsty soul seeks water
And the betrayal of hope that I see
Is of a lamb that knows it’s up for slaughter.
If only your love had been quite like his;
If only I could love him quite like this.