Losing Parts of My Soul

and winter brings with it each year,
a weariness from the last tear
that tore its way out from my eye
with no will to lay down and die;
it’s not a proper death, my dear,
it’s a theft, a little each year,
yes, i resent this on the whole,
losing little parts of my soul,
little here, little there, little
went down the drain with my spittle;
so why do tears fall with those leaves?
why does the brain think as the heart grieves?
what answer I seek has nature guessed,
or has she in autumn confessed?
why is the tear still forming to flow?
what is it i do not in full know?
Is it the blight man was born for?
Is it me I quietly mourn for?

– inspired by loss
and by the climax of Spring and Fall by Gerard Manley Hopkins

A year

It’s been a year that forgot grief in shards,

Where my heart burst in another becoming;

I’d nothing left to lose but abstract nouns,

Which I realize were never welcoming.

You were one of the cleanest emotions:

Subtle and complete, filled with the abstract

I’ve never been able to understand,

Despite how the heart would add or subtract.

Time is the cruelest entity I find;

It destroys the heart and corrupts the mind;

And though I am surrounded by the new,

I just close my eyes and simply find you.

For you gave meaning to what can’t be seen,

In that meaning, you will always be seen.

I Always Will

I miss you still,
I guess, I always will.
As the nights turn colder,
I see stars growing older.
In starlight, you shine alone,
I see tears, I hear a moan,
I see eyes, moist and brown,
Zoe, I put you down.
I stopped your pain.
Yes, I would do it again.
You know I loved you so,
So I had to let you go.
Death is easy for those who die,
The living struggle to get by.
So be free of God, life and me
I am afforded no such liberty.
Yes, I miss you still,
I know I always will.