Let the Tears Drop

I look for your hair stuck onto clothes I wore,
When you were still alive.
I find some on the mattress near the door
And my heart takes a dive
Into darkness of loss and sorrow,
And I realize you are gone,
There won’t be you in a tomorrow,
And I am caught and forlorn,
Pirouetting in life’s inanity
Of loving and losing and loving again.
Tomorrow is an endless sea,
Filled with murky waters of pain,
I’ll hold onto the shaft of memory,
Just to keep myself afloat.
It will sink eventually
I will get another boat.
Such is life, we move on;
But sometimes I stop;
Notice you are gone
And let the tears drop.

Losing Parts of My Soul

and winter brings with it each year,
a weariness from the last tear
that tore its way out from my eye
with no will to lay down and die;
it’s not a proper death, my dear,
it’s a theft, a little each year,
yes, i resent this on the whole,
losing little parts of my soul,
little here, little there, little
went down the drain with my spittle;
so why do tears fall with those leaves?
why does the brain think as the heart grieves?
what answer I seek has nature guessed,
or has she in autumn confessed?
why is the tear still forming to flow?
what is it i do not in full know?
Is it the blight man was born for?
Is it me I quietly mourn for?

– inspired by loss
and by the climax of Spring and Fall by Gerard Manley Hopkins

A year

It’s been a year that forgot grief in shards,

Where my heart burst in another becoming;

I’d nothing left to lose but abstract nouns,

Which I realize were never welcoming.

You were one of the cleanest emotions:

Subtle and complete, filled with the abstract

I’ve never been able to understand,

Despite how the heart would add or subtract.

Time is the cruelest entity I find;

It destroys the heart and corrupts the mind;

And though I am surrounded by the new,

I just close my eyes and simply find you.

For you gave meaning to what can’t be seen,

In that meaning, you will always be seen.