I recently watched Heartstopper Season 3, which is not only an excellent LGBTQ+ series but also refreshingly inverts the typical media landscape by placing queer characters at the centre. This representation makes straight people feel like the “odd ones out.” One of the key themes in this season is body dysmorphia—a mental health condition that involves an obsessive focus on perceived flaws in one’s appearance. This series led me to reflect on how common body image issues have become, particularly in the age of social media.
What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)?
Body Dysmorphic Disorder is defined by the NHS as a mental health condition where individuals spend a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance, often minor or unnoticeable to others. It can significantly impact daily life and self-esteem. According to the International OCD Foundation, around 1 in 50 people are affected by BDD, making it a relatively common condition, particularly among teenagers and young adults.
Social Media and Body Comparison
These days, platforms like Instagram and TikTok exacerbate body dysmorphia. Filters, perfect lighting, and curated images set unrealistic standards. Studies show that 88% of women and 65% of men compare themselves to images on social media, often leading to negative body image and dissatisfaction with their own appearance. In fact, adolescents who frequently use social media are at greater risk for developing body image issues.
Childhood Experiences and Body Image
My personal experience aligns with these findings. As a Sikh boy growing up, I remember being teased about my turban and physical traits. Bullying around body image or appearance is not uncommon in childhood, and these early experiences can embed long-lasting insecurities. For me, it wasn’t just about my hair—I was also teased for being effeminate, having a small torso, and larger hips, which added to my body image struggles.
Body Changes and Identity Formation
Body image concerns tend to worsen during adolescence. The body undergoes significant changes between the ages of 13 and 18, a critical time for identity formation. As I transitioned through these phases, I gained weight during my teens and then lost it during college. This constant flux made me more conscious of my appearance. Like many, I looked to male ideals—broad shoulders, muscular torsos—standards that I didn’t feel my body met.
Gay Men and Body Image
In the gay community, body image pressures can be particularly intense. Studies suggest that 42% of gay men report body dissatisfaction, compared to 29% of heterosexual men. As a gay man, I felt these pressures acutely, from worrying about my weight to comparing how my body looked—chest, abs, even penis size—against societal expectations. The pervasive focus on physical perfection in the gay dating scene can lead to unhealthy self-comparisons, which was well-illustrated in Heartstopper.
Clothing and Body Protection
For me, fashion became a protective layer. I found comfort and confidence in clothes, which acted like a second skin. This isn’t uncommon; research shows that clothing and appearance are often used as coping mechanisms for body image dissatisfaction. Styling others also gave me joy, reinforcing that appearance can be empowering, but it also masked deeper insecurities.
The Paradox of Love and Physical Attraction
While we often say that love is about looking beyond the physical, I believe that initial attraction is deeply tied to appearance. Studies suggest that physical attraction is often the first spark in romantic relationships, and it takes time for emotional and intellectual connections to develop. Over time, though, emotional bonds replace the need for constant physical attraction. Ironically, in long-term relationships, people sometimes let their physical appearance slip, leading to a potential decline in mutual attraction.
The Toxic Cycle of Body Image and Relationships
This creates a toxic cycle: we start questioning our own bodies when we feel a loss of attention or attraction from our partner. It’s common for people to feel they’ve “let themselves go,” leading to self-blame and even more body dissatisfaction. Despite knowing that true love should transcend physicality, it’s difficult to escape these ingrained notions. The pressure to mould ourselves to fit societal standards remains strong, as Heartstopper poignantly highlighted.
Body Dysmorphia and Relationship Dynamics
Heartstopper Season 3 forces us to confront how deeply body image issues are interwoven with romantic relationships. Body dysmorphia affects how we view ourselves and how we approach love. Until we address these toxic perceptions—rooted in societal conditioning, social media, and early experiences—our relationships will continue to be shaped by the way we see our own bodies.
This thought process integrates statistics and definitions, placing your personal reflections within a larger framework of body image, social conditioning, and mental health.
Hearts Still Care 