Caged

I welcomed you into my life,
When I was whole and strong;
I disclosed all of my strife;
You vowed you would belong.

You were privy to each moment;
All my loved ones knew you:
For I fought to make it just so:
How else could we be true?

But I have never known your home,
For you had no real say,
I have walked around your life –
In mine, I built your way.

After you’ve left, door ajar,
Drawers empty, faith torn,
You did not leave just me, my love,
You left a family forlorn.

Each wound I laid down before you,
Back when you wanted me;
You slept, baked, loved, lived, in these walls,
They probe now, seeking clarity.

Everyone I brought to you,
Now question, grieve and rage –
With each talk, I relive your loss –
It cannot fade, for it does not age.

Your life has none who know me,
Not even the lone sibling,
Whose time I chose to ask for,
Whose voice you sought to bring…

No one speaks for me, before you;
But I speak with many each day;
They cry, when I cry, having known you;
Each wish to have their say.

I gave you what you did not have,
I gave you them, I gave you me,
Perhaps you never thought it so
And caged me, thinking yourself free.

Him and You and Me

Our love was unusual
And most could not understand;
But, as long as we three did,
It was bliss, it became grand.
It was him, and you, and me,
And it was all bright then.
Being understood by all
Was not for us three gay men.

You left, a few days ago,
Giving me no chance for hope.

He lies with my burden now,
He struggles to help me cope.

I held you to this standard:
My other pennant of care…
Now I stand devastated,
Before all, ashamed and bare.
He tries to shield my spirit,
As they were all proven right.
For you could not choose to stay –
And gave up without a fight.