It’s 5:30am;
My feet are swelling;
I may die.
I don’t know why
Medicines haven’t helped.
Doctors have tried:
Augmentin and ecosprin,
Dexa and para,
Haven’t yet seemed to win.
New fear is assailed –
I’m not fearful of death –
I have lived a nice life
And when I die,
I’ll be free of strife.
A moment to smile
That I’ll die younger,
And yet quite satisfied
All of my hunger.
Come morning,
If I survive,
I’ll have new fears,
I’m wondering if living
Is worth the new tears?
People have their own lives,
Updates become a due,
Death cuts down all time,
Then time must move on, too.
Offers of help get quieter,
(Thankfully in a way):
Sympathy visits for moments
It doesn’t intend to stay.
In the end, it’s always you,
While everyone falls asleep;
You lie awake and breathe
And dread to dream too deep.
Dreams terrify me!
You enter with different names
And my mind uses them
To play terrible games.
I’m tired; because i’m hounded
By the hours of sleep I get.
(And trust my heart:
It just really wants to forget.)
Weary, worn out and wasted,
Tears have long since dried;
But the emptiness alone,
Reminds me I haven’t yet died.
Hearts Still Care 
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