World

I said I loved you

And I brought you into my world

You said you loved me

And later, gave me up for yours.

It just goes to show

What love makes one lose,

When its dimensions

Cannot help one choose.

Caged

I welcomed you into my life,
When I was whole and strong;
I disclosed all of my strife;
You vowed you would belong.

You were privy to each moment;
All my loved ones knew you:
For I fought to make it just so:
How else could we be true?

But I have never known your home,
For you had no real say,
I have walked around your life –
In mine, I built your way.

After you’ve left, door ajar,
Drawers empty, faith torn,
You did not leave just me, my love,
You left a family forlorn.

Each wound I laid down before you,
Back when you wanted me;
You slept, baked, loved, lived, in these walls,
They probe now, seeking clarity.

Everyone I brought to you,
Now question, grieve and rage –
With each talk, I relive your loss –
It cannot fade, for it does not age.

Your life has none who know me,
Not even the lone sibling,
Whose time I chose to ask for,
Whose voice you sought to bring…

No one speaks for me, before you;
But I speak with many each day;
They cry, when I cry, having known you;
Each wish to have their say.

I gave you what you did not have,
I gave you them, I gave you me,
Perhaps you never thought it so
And caged me, thinking yourself free.

The Same

As I take the sleeping pill,
I dread the night ahead.
There is someone who loves me,
With his back to me in bed,
No one to hold me,
Like you once did instead.

The dark was my home,
You entered in it willingly.
I grew used to having another
Who touched sadder parts of me.
The saddest part is
I loved you all too much
Yet –
Not enough, you said,
Because I expected more.

I expected something
You could not see
As the morning light came.
You lost sight of the fights,
I fought on your behalf,
As the sun played his game.
Requirements of the earth
Took root –
What chance does the moon have
Against such a brilliant suit?

I hope the pill helps me
Reject the rejected –
For a few hours –
And face this fading sun
And all that he empowers.
In time, every star fades –
I will forego your thigh upon mine,
Your arm around my chest –
And I will still be the same moon,
Despite the sun’s very best.