I saw you, day before,
Moving on, on some dating app;
You looked good; I smiled;
I didn’t fall into some anxious trap.
After ten months, I thought,
I have begun to let go –
But now I fear my mind
Keeps secrets it doesn’t show.
I know now that nothing
Was what seemed about you;
And yet, last night, as I slept,
I dreamed about you.
I
Do your dreams wake you up, too?
Do I haunt them the way you do mine?
Do I walk and talk in them, in old homes,
That now no longer exist in time?
Does the feeling of loss permeate
Through each moment of the dream?
And do you now dread sleep
Because of what might have been?
Does your heart fill with pain
And wake you up as it bursts?
Does your throat get parched
As your anxiety thirsts?
Was I but a dream to you?
Was your love something I dreamed?
Have I been such a terrible fool?
Was nothing what it seemed?
II
Dreams have you lying in bed with me;
Conversations are now not the same;
Maybe, they manifest to tell me
I was never just the one to blame.
I can’t
Move
On.
I can’t forget his face.
Every time, I think life is better,
It brings me to this space.
It’s a terrible feeling…
It’s the same love,
The same power
But instead of the sweetness,
It tastes acrid,
Sour.
It fills me with longing
And dread.
Time has past
And I have cried;
I may breathe still –
But I’ve died and died.
Loss has corroded me from the inside
And time moves on,
And on;
Yet, I am stuck, and keep returning
To what’s left,
To what’s forlorn.
If his heart would,
One day,
Be cast out,
And like mine now,
Completely,
Shatter.
I do not think,
To my breathing,
At any point, hence,
The shattering would matter.
They say,
“Time heals all –
All wounds will heal.”
True.
But know also
They leave weeping scars,
We,
All,
Quietly,
Learn to conceal.
Hearts Still Care 
You must be logged in to post a comment.