Eve

Carols croon soft in my ear this early morning,
Though as usual my heart does not wish to sing;
The noose of life has tightened and I need the knife,
Which I threw away to prevent preconceived strife.

How ironical that I should need that blade now!
My world and I are being swept in the thick flow
Of superficiality, progress and money –
A trapped, dying fly in a golden vat of honey!

So some friends threw me a rope to help me escape;
But it snagged on my neck and each pull felt like rape;
If I struggle a bit they think me ungrateful,
Though it is to my own self I’m being unfaithful!

I am caught either way and trust has long since died;
Old entreaties to God have also been denied;
So Jesus descends into the world on this day,
But I can’t hope, can’t sing, can’t rise, can’t sink, can’t pray.

8:45am
24th December

“If I seem sad do not bother to stop by”

David Boyd's Betrayal

If I seem sad do not bother to stop by
And ask if things are awry,
Just walk on and I shall be fine
It’s just another phase of mine.

(I think too much that’s the thing,
Or maybe it’s an excess of feeling.
Perhaps love has caused me grief
Or a friend has shred my belief.
I set a lot of score in both
And both have me at the throat.)

But you stop and question these tears of mine,
And ask who has cut me this time.
You are not my lover and I refuse to say
What makes me act this way.
Instead, clutching my bloody throat, I walk away
And you realize what happened today,
Since on your shoulder I do not depend,
The wound was caused by some old friend.

To R. B.

I looked around once when I was alone
And found you, wearing black and a soft smile
And we were caught in different time zones
And destiny let us meet for a while.

As time passed, Rahul, I grew to know you,
And in your number of friends I was one
And I remember how we got close too
Because of dancing and that party fun.

But apart from all this, I wish to say,
Despite all the boasts of men and strife,
Our friendship seems to have come to stay,
‘Specially in the online and night life.

So here’s to a sweet, funny friend like you
Who was and will be in times, old or new.