Tag: Fear

Panic

Published on by Harpreet Chhachhia1 Comment

it feels like someone is sitting on my chest
and the panic is like a wet cloth pressed on my nose
and eyes
and mouth
and i cannot breathe
some would think i am a seeker of
drama
and some would think i need to be crowned with a tiara
some would tell me brave it out,
this is just another test.

but i know this feeling
it happened when i was cheated on
it happened when my mother was diagnosed with cancer
it happened when i lost a child
it descends like a dementor from azkaban
i feel its mouth on mine
and i cannot remember any light
not a single memory of a smile
but there is this world reeling, reeling, reeling.
preventing any entry of hope or of healing.

 

Due

Published on by Harpreet Chhachhia1 Comment

The seasons have left,
there are none for my future.
My measure stands bereft,
old wounds know no suture.

The leaves have crumbled
into a crypt filled with dust,
all of love lies jumbled
with loss, lies and lust.

It’s a mire of confusion.
What has life led me to?
It all seems like an illusion.
Who am I? Who are you?

The wind is still, the heat is here,
Hands take what they can.
I am left with what I think is fear
And no real measure of man.

My dogs die, like the seasons do,
Though I enjoy each most.
All that seems to remain true
Are the illnesses I guiltily host.

Regrets I have borrowed,
When I prided myself on having none.
And everything I followed,
Seems to in infinite circles run.

The sun now holds one promise,
maybe I yearn for him to be true:
somewhere, I will find my share of bliss,
sometime, I will be given my due.

A Certain Sun

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

The morning gives me no solace:
It has come with heat and light
And I find myself asking
For the dark horns of the night.

Then I find love, soaked in desire,
Wrapped up in your arms and hair,
Smells of burgers and coffee,
Snarled sheets hiding all that’s bare.

The sun brings in the future,
The future has torn the heart,
Time sheds light on the knowledge,
That soon you and I must part.

Families, jobs, money wait;
The sun brings them all back in;
I fear what the world might say,
How you were lead in to sin.

The sun burns my exposed skin,
All hair shines like molten fire;
The sun just shows me the truth,
The stars just show me desire.

I could wait for the next moon:
Who knows just what I might get;
But memories of ones before
Depend on how soon you’ll forget.

The sun barges through the window.
I lean back and draw the curtain.
I note: it’s only his return
Of which I am fully certain.