slammed doors

His passing was sudden
Like the slap when I wouldn’t serve him his food.
There was one last surge of emotion,
Due,
As I applied ghee on his face
So the fire would be kind.
I never knew a father;
But my father,
He knew me,
He said,
He knew I was “like that” since I was two.
And that was enough for him to know of me.
The bullying,
The browbeating,
The beating,
The battery of those slammed doors
Hailing his entry or exit
Out of and in to my life.

But for all that he hated me
I hope karma doesn’t exist,
And he doesn’t enter this world
From another door
That bangs open
Like a bomb blast.

Daddy Dearest

I guess my dad handicapped me:
With iron fists and alcohol breath,
He showed me a path to anger,
He brought me closer to death.
I cheated his on-hand lessons
To follow my sexual heart,
And thought myself so strong and proud
To escape the gay, body mart.
But men who are lovers become fathers,
Eventually, soon or late,
Iron breath is replaced by cold fancy,
Waiting a line away from hate.
So dad conceived a wriggly sperm,
That he thought wriggled out way too wrong,
So here the poor thing vainly sits and writes,
Still hoping to seem strong through this song.