Day 13

It’s day 13
Since covid came to make love
I feared how I’d come to
April 15 without thinking of a year ago
But concerns of
O2 sats dropping below 90
A 104 fever, the paramour I found
Springing up at 4 hourly intervals
Keeping me heated
And forgetful,
Like your new love,
Puts physical needles in veins.

IV tubes hang from curtain rods,
Oxygen machines pant
Deliberately.
123 123 breathe
123 123 breathe
Like sex he no longer allows.

Important doctors say,
Admit yourself.
Very few say,
“Stay home.
It’s the best place
if you are rejected from the BMC.”
Remdesivir is ambrosia!
Hospitals are the mount Olympuses holding it!

Then there are higher beings,
Kings and sages,
Queens and seers,
Long white beards,
Long white sarees,
Waiting for larger kingdoms,
With carnivals on river banks.

The state of the art medical condition
Is so astounding,
So magnanimous,
My fear so revolting,
My horror so engrossing,
That the first breakup anniversary
Passed
In me preventing my new lover from calling the shots.

Mom shivers,
Bua quivers,
Sister, lover, kids,
Three doctors
One nurse
deliver…

After all, come morning
I will have in my mind
Different shots
And thoughts of
Paracetamols,
Antibiotics,
Decongestants
Fabiflus,
And corticosteroids.

Quarantined

Sitting at the computer, after completing a shit ton of work, I turned to my dog who had yawned. He looked at me sleepily. I wondered how life is for him. At the moment, because of the lockdown, there is no life. He is confined in these walls just as I am. But I have other things to keep me company. I have my television, my computer, my books, my blogs, my art, my camera, my phone and social media. What does he have? Me.

He has always had just me. So, I really look at him. I gave him a hug. I want him to know that I am sorry that I had not paid him enough attention. Even now, as I write this, I am not giving him attention. He is right at my feet. Dozing off again.

This is generally the life we lead. A life where we strive to earn money, where we try to look our best for people online who we will never really ever meet. Family will pass by, and we will see our pictures together with a sense of nostalgia. Carpe Diem, is something that is just taught to us in literature. I try very hard to live each day as it comes… but I never really manage to live up to its full potential. Or mine, for that matter.

However, this is not a post about dejection and lost chances. Even locked in my home, for nearly a month, won’t really make me bored. I have plenty of things to do. How do I make this worthwhile for my kiddos though? There are many websites that will tell me stuff to do with them. Maybe, all I need to do is spend some time with them. I guess that is generally what everyone wants, isn’t it?

I want people I love to spend time with me. I want them to notice me and give me a hug. I want to hear about their feelings. But I also don’t want to get into an argument – which is always a danger with human beings. I would like people to be kinder. Hell, it doesn’t have to be some stranger – just give someone you love a compliment. Tell them that you would like to be in their company. Give them a smile.

Covid-19 has struck at the heart of humanity. It’s literally taken life’s breath. We are social animals. We want to be with other people. Mix around and talk and share thoughts. We can still share thoughts, but physical distancing is so heart breaking. Not to a haphephobic, of course, but hey, you get what I am trying to say. That being said, who else is to blame for this catastrophe but us?

Look at what we have done to the world we live in. We have taken it from granted. So the world has decided to encapsulate us into our own homes. Just thinking about a polar bear, on a broken piece of ice, stranded in the middle of an ocean, makes me want to yell. Yell out at the people who don’t pay enough attention to this tragedy. Most people I know would not be able to relate. It’s just a glacier breaking into the sea. It’s just another forest fire. It’s just another virus. They think that it’ll all pass without serious repercussions.

Maybe that is true when one thinks of the world in an existential dynamic. It’s just been a couple of weeks of human beings staying put and the world is beginning to breathe. There are wild animals walking about unafraid. The wind is cleaner. The stars brighter. The world will go on. Of course, it will. With or without humanity still in the dynamic, that is a whole different argument. But seriously though: how hard is it to stop using plastic? To conserve water? To use a dustbin? To feed a stray animal? To get out of your fucking cocoon of self-importance?

But enough of this lecture. I believe that if someone is worried about the way things are, he will make the call to do something about it himself. Nothing anyone can say or do can make people, who do not want to listen, listen. So I am going to shut up and go and sit with my doggo who deserves my attention.