I am quieter,
I don’t want to strain to hear
Monsoon birds twitter now;
I hear them though, in the morning,
Some calls seem weak, some strong…
I am sadder,
As I look at all I hold dear;
Grave lines serrate my brow
While I question all my yearning
That can’t tell right from wrong.
The days fly by,
Like seasons do;
I’m forgotten;
But alive, too.
Few days are good;
Most still are bad;
Some hours bring smiles;
Most keep me sad.
As the days go,
I let them, one
By one, and blur
The moon and the sun.
I put on smiles,
As night takes day;
And like the night,
They do not stay.
So I live them,
Like pills and sleep,
Like dreams I dream;
But cannot keep.
I repeat, I have nothing else to say.
Anxiety leaves me gasping for breath;
Thoughts churn; but can’t convey
A tug of war between life and a death.
I stand at the brink of a precipice,
With savage winds buffeting onto me,
Eyes wide, lest some kind stranger’s slightest kiss
Sends me into some dark eternity.
The abrasive cold of a once-warm love
Freezes me onto those I hold dear;
But no power from earth or sky above
Can truly lessen an ounce of this fear…
Fear from false promises, hopes, kisses lost
And cruel smiles luring from the past:
I‘m barren now; I can’t afford their cost;
Faltering, I wonder how long I’ll last.
Hearts Still Care 
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