Category: Written in 2017

Broken

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I’m broken.
People come,
Stick me back,
I help with the glue.
But the glue has no strength.
A tiny wisp of wind
Is all it takes.
It brushes past
And all of me breaks.
I’m tired of breaking.
I wish I was a fortress
Lasting millennia.
Or a wall
That keeps people in place.
Or sand that knows
No great weather.
But I’m not.
I depend.
Ironic.
It breaks me.
The pieces get difficult
To find.
It hurts to break.
But
Even when broken
No one
Casts me away.
No one
Wants me gone.
Maybe they like
The challenge
Of putting me back
Together.
Maybe they like
Seeing me
… broken.
Maybe I’m words
Meant to be
Spoken
Into
Breeze.
Maybe they wish
To see how much
I can take.
How far I last
How small I can break.
But, you see,
No matter how much
I am glued back,
I am broken.
Swaying in the breeze,
Counting on words
Not yet spoken.

The Breath I Breathe

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I am tired of writing about love and being loved,
I have seen it all and yet, I keep trying;
My heart never learned and now neither does the brain –
It is a limitless rigmarole of lying!

Maybe I confuse love with acceptance:
Seeing myself as Perfect, in the eyes of a lover;
But, eventually, I see myself as lacking
Remorse is what I eventually discover.

Ironic sure that the last who loved me
When I was young, now wants someone younger;
Ironic more that he who says loves me now,
Professed cluelessly, quite the same hunger.

Confessions and cheatings have torn my soul apart,
So much so that I have no soul left to bare;
I truly wish I had no use for this miserable heart:
All it has conferred on me is dead-ended despair.

Somewhere delving deeper than heart sinew,
I must have found some self worth, some strength;
But all love does is push it right back in
And holds me up to ridicule and judgement.

Words, when spoken by those I love, shatter
Good, vain preconceptions I have fostered of me;
So I pick and dissect all those that matter
Yet relegate each to just horned-up sexuality.

I really thought I had pushed love out of my system,
Look to the mirror for that is what they all see!
But time makes me commit the same mistake over
And think that love finally wanted the heart in me.

If you want the heart it lies in a body just as mine
And is this not love to love both just the same
My heart has grown older with my body over time
And both still respond to the very same name.

But I am tired of writing about being unloved,
I have seen it all and yet I keep trying,
And I know now that love will not stop
Until the breath I breathe before dying.

The Fan’s Woe

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

The night has lain down, once more, on my tiny bed;
The silence is broken, by a fan overhead;
Darkness is lit, by flutterings of windowed light;
Images from the day still burn into my sight.
Your hands on my body still leave tendrils of fire;
Yet it was never just a matter of desire –
There was that bittersweet yearning I thought had gone:
Something that had no hope of being reborn.
I surmised wisdom made sure it was left behind –
A few lessons, growing older had taught the mind;
But here it lies, near night, yearning for touch again;
No matter that it comes with the sure price of pain.

The fan creaks, speaking, it tells me, it knows it all,
It has been technical witness to each shortfall.
It blusters the air doing its job as always,
It has seen all that leaves and felt who stays.
So now it addresses me, like a parent dear,
While the darkness addresses all of my fear.
There is not very much to say or do but write;
Maybe this is how I regain clarity of sight.
My eyes droop and I think of his bright, tawny stare,
His head bent over my body, his tousled hair,
My fingers in it, as he tastes a part of me,
Which has been savoured by, oh, so many,
And, I must say, if pain is the sole attraction,
This just goes to speak of my sad heart’s detraction,
And Loneliness that never, truly, left my bed,
Unless you include the groaning fan overhead.