Smiles have now replaced tears:
They do not come from joy,
But actualization of fears
In destiny’s employ.
I have no cause to trust anyone:
Not a jot of certainty or strength,
Within this heart or mind run,
Of any scope, or any length.
What certainty in principle I knew
Now bows to lessons from lies,
Love exists like it was never true
Tainted by a myriad sighs.
I wish I can still close my eyes and dream
Instead of smiles that hide the screams.
If I think of all the earlier times,
Of all the dried tears, of all the mixed rhymes,
When I sit and listen quiet to thought,
To all the blissful dreams innocence brought,
The hopes that felt lost somewhere in prayer,
Futures predicted by some soothsayer,
Fathers who seemed to loom so dark and large,
Or those who sold loving words for a charge,
Sailboats guided by dragons in the rain,
Cold nights of love and colder nights of pain,
Ailing mothers who took away sorrow,
Sisters who bravely gave their tomorrow,
Lovers who came, came and crushed all desire,
Feeding worn faith to a funeral pyre,
Grandparents who spoke of idyllic days –
In short, life’s each ephemeral phase.
I remain wide-eyed and alone.
Derelict and silent. A tombstone.
Quietly sipping expensive chocolate,
Thinking about will, wondering about fate.
There is a doll sitting on the shelf
Bought a long time ago
All she wants is to be seen
Like she was once long before.
Something like an annual beauty queen
Then life did a turn and grew up
Now she collects dust on the mantel
Sometimes she is brought down in arms
For memory’s cruel sake
Sometimes for innocence that is now what had been
So there she sits now
Forgotten for the better part
And hopes and hopes and hopes
Just to be seen.
Hearts Still Care 
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