Category: Articles

Of broken hearts.

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

You don’t get over heartbreak. You learn to live with it. Like broken pieces of a toy you cannot dispose of – because it reminds you of who you were as a child. A broken angel dangling on a new Christmas tree. It reminds you of who you used to be. You chance upon seeing something that was given and what is now broken and you weep. All the happy moments through the day signify nothing in the face of what has been lost. And that is okay.

Heart break can teach you how important it is to survive loss… but it also teaches you that you are capable of moving on – irrespective of the fact, that the pain will live with you forever. Because love is for ever. It does not eradicate itself just because the person you love has left. It does not even need the person you love; it just needs itself to survive.

Heart break can break you. it can remold you into something that you never thought was possible. It shows you how dark human life can be… and within the pain it also shows you how human you can actually be, too. It is all about understanding that just because you have reached a darkness that appears fractured, you are not dead. Perhaps that is what it means to be alive. You live through the pain and pain alone will make you worthy.

There are times when the pain engulfs you and it shows you that you yet alive. it is like freezing water, even if your head is above it, it rips through muscle and grips your innards. It capsizes all the cavities that can hold air. It chokes you. it makes you gasp. Films form over your eyes and everything seems blurry. You can either let the cold envelope you and submerge, or you can stay afloat, until you find the will to swim.

I am not here to judge how you choose to deal with the pain. I will just say that pain exists … and it owes you nothing except a choice. So, what will you choose? My choice is clear. I am here, writing this, so that you who are reading this, know that heartbreak refines, it makes you stronger, worthier and truer to your own self.

Buying Apples

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I have just returned from buying the iPhone 13. If you don’t know this about me, you should know that I am an Apple loyalist. Have been since I switched from a BlackBerry to the iPhone 4. I have upgraded my phone every year. Over the years, I have purchased most of the Apple line of products. I love Apple. I save up for the things I want to buy and I end up buying their products because of their sheer ease of use and beauty. They appeal to me. I also know it’s a very subjective choice that can lead to the most vociferous debates.

That being said, I live in India. These products are luxury products. We pay for them excessively. There are jokes that happen that question how many internal organs we must sell in order to purchase one of these phones. Of course there are those whose wallets never make a dent with these products. There are others like me who end up saving for it for the better part of a year. On top of Apple’s own price, there is an 18% Goods and Services Tax AND 30% Import Duty! So yes, the price is steep. And those who want an Apple product are punished for wanting them

Yet, in 2021, we do have reports that Apple has fared with an exceptional market performance. Apple recorded double-digit revenue growth in India and Apple CEO Tim Cook pointed out that emerging markets like India, Latin America and Vietnam had shown an “exceptionally strong growth.” But despite this, there is not a single official Apple store in India!

My personal experience has dealt with unofficial retailers and official retailers, in my city of Mumbai. After two consecutive years of a lack of stock of the ‘new colours’ of the iPhones reaching the unofficial retailers, I decided to take my business to the ‘official’ retailers in the city.

Today, like the other years I have had buying experience from these official franchise venues, I had a bad experience. Let me talk of the problems that we face.

The Apple event happens. The phone is launched in a brand new colour with dazzling features – those audio visual presentations are such head turners! So the loyalists run to the nearest retailer to prebook their phones. Once the prebooking is done, one is stuck with the retailer. Then comes the launch date. People gather outside the venues. The people who have booked a nearly $2,000 phone have to wait in a chaotic fashion outside stores.

The staff of the stores are not equipped to deal with a clientele that comes from their own avenues of prestige. It is almost a class war that happens – and one can tell that the staff exert what power they have over a populi that can shelve out thousands of dollars. Moreover, in more case than one, the staff do not understand basic codes of civility. The system of queues doesn’t feature very well here – not even among the rich. Everyone wants to be entitled and civility takes a flying leap, right back to Cooke’s dinner parties.

Another thing that happens, there always is a hustle and bustle and hue and cry for the stock of the phones. Most times, the new phone with the new colour seems to never reach the retailers. Here my partner vouches his opinion: “They do this as a free marketing gimmick. They want people to raise a hullabaloo. So the mismanagement is done on purpose. How else would sales generate publicity? Apple needs to release its stock a day before the launch. Once there, the staff can make an account of who gets what. The whole process could be neater and better managed!” He well may have a point there.

So we end up with our prebooking voucher in our hands, hoping that someone will direct us to someone in the store who knows what the fuck is going on. Knowing the staff of the store also doesn’t seem to help very much. There are ingrown politics of their own going on. Heaven forbid, the person you know is on leave, or at another outlet doing his job. You will be promptly forgotten. The pull you had to get the new coloured phone will become a figment of your imagination.

I wonder if all of these dynamics will change if Apple does decide to start up their own stores in India. It will still be run by people who are inefficient and rude. It is a small scale revolution of its own going on – where the “bourgeoisie” can never be brought down because ironically they also create jobs for the “proletariats”.

The Night Boy

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I saw an episode of the second season of Modern Love last night. It reminded me completely of myself. I have been a lover of the night, since as far back as I can remember. I love the night. Everything about it is beautiful. I have stayed awake at night since school. I would study late and then I would go to school. Nothing really changed in college. I couldn’t get up for the early morning lectures when it came to degree college. I hated waking up in the mornings.

Staying up in the day drains me. It literally takes away my peace of mind. As it is I do not do too well with peace. I am melancholic and the nature of day drains me further. There are too many people to deal with. Too many interruptions in what I wish to do by myself. There is traffic. There are irritations. There are frustrations.

The night is quieter. I wouldn’t say it is quiet, living in a city like Mumbai that never sleeps any which way. It has an ambience about it which I can never find during the day. Even the elves in J R R Tolkien’s universe awoke at night. They looked upon the stars – they were the first things the elves saw. I won’t dramatize this by saying that stars are what I love. No, it’s the moon that gets me every time. I love the moon. My favourite song happens to be Moon River. Everything to do with the moon mesmerizes me.

There is a quote I often find myself narrating, “I am not the sun, I am the moon. I soothe, I do not burn.”

This stays with me. When I chance upon the Moon in Tarot, I am mesmerized by the imagery. It is meant to be associated with the darker nature of the self, the psyche, intuition, sleep, a deep delving into the soul, if a soul there is. I think about the moon and then I think about the night. When I wake in the day, it is evening. I greet the dying sun and I am content. As he settles for the night, I find myself blossoming. Sunsets are more beautiful than sunrises. We just like to romanticize new beginnings, the end of the day can be grander and way more poetic.

For some people, like most of my loved ones, they bloom under sunlight. Mom is a bit like me, but she has to cave in to the others because she has a home to run. Doorbells and maids, food and shopping, and her daughter who doesn’t like the night. Then sometimes, I am accused of not being a part of the world, but I am. The world doesn’t die at night. There is a whole new world that opens its arms to me.

There are owls that fly by silently. Moths flutter in towards lights. The rain feels fresher, darker. Dogs move about quietly and sometimes when they fight their voices ring out. It feels like I am not quite living in a city around three and four in the morning. Memories are easier to grasp. People are easier to read. The moon is bright when it is full and you can talk to it without anyone else eaves dropping.

I can read. I can write. I can cry. Poetry comes easy. Words make prose without necessity. Meeting up people who are also night birds brings in a flock that jabber and chatter and sometimes breaks the quiet. It gives me the time to engage, not just with like minded people, but with one’s own self.

Most times, I see the sun rise. The sky becomes a dark blue. Then it lightens. Birds fly and the owls rest. Ribbons of grey filter the sky and somewhere in the east, the sun rises. Sometimes, the sunrises are beautiful to watch. Especially in the overcast filters of the monsoons. And after I say hello, it’s time to sleep.