Category: Articles

Meredith Grey and Me

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

I just saw a Grey’s Anatomy promo on Instagram, and the caption read, Mother’s back. The image showed Meredith Grey standing, clothed in sombre colours, with a look on her face that seemed to say, I’m here. I’ve achieved it all, and there’s still more to come.

A few minutes ago, my niece—my cousin sister’s daughter—sent me a clip from the Grey’s Anatomy Season 2 finale, where Izzie loses Denny. She was in shock, exclaiming, Oh my God, you actually saw this as it aired for the first time on television! And it’s true. That must have been sometime in 2007. And here we are, in 2025, and Grey’s Anatomy is still running. It’s been thirty years of her life traipsing along mine.

I’ve watched Meredith Grey evolve—sometimes in dramatic leaps, sometimes in that slow, existential, placid kind of way. And I’ve always equated myself with her because I’ve had people like Cristina and Derek in my life. And then there’s Alex, George, and Izzie. They’ve come and gone. And she’s the last one standing.

Meredith Grey is a survivor. She is dark and twisty, hardened by life’s relentless blows, yet fiercely resilient. She starts out as the vulnerable girl who pleads, Pick me, choose me, love me, but over time, she transforms into a woman who declares, I want you in my life if you want to be in my life. But if I have to choose, I’m going to pick me, I pick my kids, and I pick what’s best for us, and I’m not going to beg you to love me. That evolution is hard-earned, built through heartbreak, loss, and self-discovery.

She has endured profound grief—the loss of her mother, her sister Lexie, her best friend George, and, most devastatingly, Derek. Yet, she has never let grief consume her. She moves forward, not because it’s easy, but because she must. She finds ways to turn her pain into purpose, becoming a leader, a mother, and a legend in her field.

Meredith is also someone who stands by what she believes in, even when the world is against her. She challenges authority, fights for justice, and protects those she loves, even if it comes at great personal cost. She is messy, flawed, and sometimes infuriatingly stubborn, but she is also brilliant, compassionate, and endlessly strong.

Looking at Meredith, I see pieces of myself. Like her, I have endured loss—people I loved deeply are no longer around. And yet, like her, I have continued to stand. I have faced rejection, heartbreak, and opposition, but I have also held my ground, believing in what is right and refusing to let the world define me. Meredith is about 48 years old and I am 49 as I write this. Our world views match: I still remember her advert on the bulletin board for a room mate. She had written “no pets” but had also said “absolutely no Bush supporters”!

Meredith has Cristina—the person who gets her, the one who tells her the truth no matter what. I’ve had a person like that too, the kind who shapes you and leaves an imprint on your soul. But just as Meredith had to let people go—whether through distance, death, or circumstance—I, too, have watched relationships fade. And yet, I remain, learning, evolving, growing.

Like Meredith, I have always been drawn to the dark and twisty parts of life, the raw, unfiltered truths that others might shy away from. I have seen the cost of being the bright and shiny one, and I know now that it is the dark and twisty ones who survive. They are the ones who understand the weight of loss, the reality of struggle, and the necessity of perseverance.

When I saw this new image of Meredith, I felt something—a kind of liberation, a kind of peace, if you could call it that. Of course, it’s dramatic. Of course, it’s meant for publicity. But looking at her made me feel like she’s arrived. And so have I.

I also feel that I stopped watching the series after she left in Season 19. I haven’t watched it since. But looking at this picture, I think—maybe I should go back and watch all the episodes where she’s still there. Because Meredith Grey’s story is not just a television script; in many ways, it is mine too.

The Cycle of Extremism

Published on by Harpreet Chhachhia1 Comment

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend that left me thinking deeply about the state of the world. I had shared a disturbing video of two men openly advocating for the subjugation of women, even going so far as to say that women who refuse to conform should be burnt and killed. This was not some obscure, hidden conversation—it was being circulated on social media for anyone to see. Understandably, my friend, along with one of my nieces, was horrified. My niece reacted by saying, “This is a terrible country; we need to leave it.”

But I disagreed. Not because I don’t see the horrors around me, but because I have come to a stark realisation: leaving a country does not change the fundamental issues of humanity.

The Global Right-Wing Surge

In 2013, when the rise of right-wing ideology became evident in my own country, (the Supreme Court had criminalised gay sex) I understood that, as a gay man, I would never enjoy the rights and privileges that straight people take for granted. I contemplated leaving, thinking perhaps another country would offer a more progressive and accepting life.

But then 2014 happened. Then in 2016, Donald Trump’s rise in America signalled the same shift towards conservatism that I had seen at home. Russia had Vladimir Putin, who allegedly sent LGBTQ+ individuals to detention camps for “correction.” Horror stories from those camps surfaced, painting a grim picture of the global state of human rights.

In 2019, J.K. Rowling, a writer I had long admired, shattered my trust when she dismissed the trans movement with her comments about sex being real. And when Trump was re-elected, it became clear that the right-wing resurgence was not a fluke—it was a reflection of the people’s will. The agenda of moral policing, religious revivalism, and historical revisionism was not being imposed from the top down; it was being demanded by the public itself.

It’s Not Just Governments—It’s the People Who Elect Them

The problem isn’t just the leaders in power; it’s the people who vote for them. If there weren’t millions who shared their views, these leaders wouldn’t exist in the first place. The unfortunate reality is that large sections of society believe in patriarchy, misogyny, homophobia, and the rigid moral codes dictated by scripture. They don’t just tolerate these ideas—they actively champion them.

This is why changing countries does nothing to change the underlying problem. Extremist views exist everywhere, manifesting in different forms depending on the cultural and political landscape. The rise of the right in one place will eventually be mirrored by a rise in another.

The Death of Nuanced Thinking

What troubles me most is the lack of nuanced thinking in today’s world. Everything is reduced to binaries: right or wrong, good or evil, us versus them. The idea that one might be wrong, or that another perspective might hold some validity, is almost extinct. Instead, people seek validation for their existing beliefs, reinforcing echo chambers that fuel further division.

Social media only exacerbates this problem. It has become a tool not for discussion, but for ideological warfare. People don’t debate to understand; they argue to win. The absence of self-reflection, of walking in another’s shoes, has led to a society where dehumanisation is normalised.

The Cycle of Extremism

Looking back at history, this cycle is nothing new. There were always people who opposed war, but wars happened anyway. Humanity has never been ruled by collective goodwill—it has always been driven by power, self-interest, and ideological battles.

Right now, we are witnessing a global right-wing surge. But this, too, will change. Eventually, people will grow tired of oppression, and the left will rise again. And then, as history has shown us, the cycle will repeat itself. The tragedy is that in the midst of these power shifts, real people suffer. Some are marginalised, some lose their rights, and some even lose their lives.

Finding Strength in Allies

But amidst all this turmoil, there is one silver lining: times like these reveal who our true allies are. When society is divided, we learn who stands with us and who stands against us. We build our own families—not through blood, but through shared beliefs and values. We find the people who will fight alongside us, and we learn who to keep at a distance.

That, perhaps, is the only positive thing about these dark times.

So no, changing countries will not solve the problem. The issue is not geographical—it is deeply rooted in human nature. The only real way forward is to continue resisting, to keep advocating for a better world, and to never stop fighting for justice. Because while the cycle may continue, so will the fight for what is “right”.

Burn…Out

Published on by Harpreet ChhachhiaLeave a comment

There comes a moment in every long-term relationship where a quiet realisation sets in—one that feels less like a sudden heartbreak and more like a slow fading of colour from a once-vivid painting. Where does the passion go? Where do the small gestures that once seemed second nature—writing a letter, sending a spontaneous text, hugging without reason—disappear?

At the start, love is all-consuming. The fire is relentless, the desire insatiable. You want to touch them constantly, know their every thought, drown in their presence. But alongside this passion comes something else—fear. Fear of losing them, jealousy, possessiveness, trust issues. The insecurity fuels the intensity, making every touch electric, every glance loaded with meaning.

Then, as time passes, something shifts. Trust settles in. The love solidifies into something steady and reliable. The jealousy eases, the fights become less dramatic, the urgent need to be reassured fades. But so does something else—the madness of passion, the desperate craving, the reckless abandon. What once felt like a raging storm begins to resemble a quiet river. Steady, dependable, but no longer unpredictable.

The years bring familiarity. You learn their morning face, their quirks, their little habits that once felt endearing and now sometimes frustrate you. The way they take too long in the shower, the way they always forget to put the towel back, the way they make the same mistake over and over. And yet, somewhere in that frustration, there’s love too. A love that says, I know this about you, and I love you anyway. A love that knows they won’t change, and it’s okay because you have decided to accept them as they are.

But where does passion go? Even if love remains, where does the longing for their body, the thrill of making love, the spontaneity of touch disappear?

Perhaps love, over time, becomes a conscious choice rather than an instinct. A decision to reach out, to initiate, to rekindle. To say, I choose you today, and I will choose you again tomorrow. But how long can one person keep choosing when the other stops noticing? How long can you be the one to start the kisses, the hugs, the caresses when they no longer feel like a natural part of your connection, but simply something that’s done out of habit?

Is this the inevitable fate of all relationships—that what starts with fire cools into something warm but no longer burns? Or is passion something we must fight for, something that requires effort to keep alive?

Maybe love doesn’t disappear. Maybe it just changes shape, finding comfort in routine instead of urgency. But the question remains—can we live with this quieter love, or do we always find ourselves longing for the fire?