“Sleepless night descends on my world again.”

Sleepless night descends on my world again.
I find solace in the sun no more.
A veiled indifference, but no pain,
Fills a once-treasured heart’s now withered store.
No thing, no one, no where fills all life;
Little of my pleasures lie surfeit;
A withdrawal from joy and from strife;
No mem’ry of a hunger to satiate.
Played with Zoe, left her tired but content.
I envied this state, playful, panting, spent.
Cringed, when thoughts barged in to mar this time:
Thoughts of how death could travel in a kiss,
How vain to pour tears into wasted rhyme,
How fatefully one’s life could come to this.
6am
4th april 2007

“A friendship ended today”

 

“A friendship ended today”

A friendship ended today.
An old friend did I forsake.
The relationship died quiet.
I attended the wake.

Sad, it happened on this day
Of giving and receiving;
But I finally realised:
‘Twas me I was deceiving.

I am no saint or patron
To give in so, take all pain;
I have a heart that hurts
And cries against such disdain.

Perhaps I am wrong…perhaps…
Old friends are hard to find.
But I am done with insults!
So I paid back some, in kind.

Perhaps my heart’s growing hard,
Harder than it ought to be;
But, if friendship made it so,
Oh, what friends are these to me?

If, to heal a wounded heart,
We seek the company of friends,
Pray tell, to whom does one turn,
When friendship itself ends?

25th December, 2007

Owl

I’m just a night person.

I have been ever since I could remember. In school and college, I usually would study at night.

I prefer the night. It’s calm and people don’t intrude. Naturally, since most people are fast asleep. Except those who are like me. And that’s always great.

Staying awake by default makes one meet people like one’s self. On social media, on chat, and it’s so nice to focus and not be mentally distracted while communicating with like-minded people. Most friends who are night people like me drop by and we sit the night through.

I used to teach as a living and classes happen for me in the afternoon, into the late evenings. I’m no longer a teacher but a full time, freelance literary editor and social media director. So now that I’ve stopped teaching, I do my editing and social media work during that time. Which I used to do anyway at night when I used to work as an editor part-time.

So I sleep through mornings which I have always disliked. I don’t know what it is about the sun that drains me. I have a favourite quote that goes something like this, “I am moonlight, not sunlight. I soothe, I do not burn.” It resonates with my favour. Smiling now.

Wikipedia calls people like me Night Owls. Another name for us is B-People. The study delves deep into circadian rhythms and delayed sleep-phase disorders.

But interestingly, they also say, “Some research has found that night owls are more intelligent and creative and more likely to get high-paying jobs than larks. A study among 1000 adolescents by the University of Madrid found that owls are better than early birds in intuitive intelligence, creative thinking and inductive reasoning. However, they lag behind larks in academic performance and they tend to have unhealthier eating habits.”

Which I am afraid is true. During the night time, I get the chance to read. I write. I blog. I catch up on favourite shows or watch and re-watch movies and series. I used to work on papers or lectures if there are any. I sketch as a hobby. Or work on photographs that I’ve clicked. Or some graphics and video editing.

But whatever I do, during the night, is undisturbed and focused. :)